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Bigger, I think you are mostly correct in your assessment ... my only objection was the "KICK HER" comment.
She did not forge Cy's name in order to split the $$ with him, she forged his name in order to take the money without him finding out.
This is typical of her character rather than atypical.
She is a cheat and a liar .. and she's gotten herself in a pickle.
"Don't rescue" ... seems in order. Agree?
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Which is better for Cymanca? As someone who has been here since right after Cy begun posting, I'd say that is for HIM to decide. At the same time he has been as considerate and honorable in all his actions. To advise him to lower his morals would do what for him exactly? What would it GAIN his self respect if he kicked someone (ANYONE) while they were down? Pleasant though the daydream may be, while I agree that WW needs to be held accountable, there can be no good outcome for Cy to actually "kick her while she's in the gutter". He's proven himself to be better than that. - Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Just Learning,
Your advice is where I find myself leaning but I am so confused right now, I don't want to make another hasty decision.
As always thanks for your help.
believer,
No we have never(to my knowledge) signed anything without the express permission of our spouse. I am questioning if this has happened before and those implications.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Cymanca, ""she breaks down, apologizes for what she has done to me and our marriage. She says that she could not have had a better husband and every day she wakes up with that on her mind."" Ok, now that I've said that, please endorse this check!! ""I refused to endorse the check as she asked."" Was this another check besides the ones she forged? What a karmatic (?) turn of events. It is amazing how staying on the high road is such a refreshing way to travel, yes? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> k
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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From our other discussion~~~~~ YOU said: As suddenly as she showed up , she has again vanished. She has been adamant in her assessment of what property values are but when faced with a looming court date(November 17), she finally had made some progress off the fence and she agreed to sell everything(my choice from the beginning).
One week after, I got a letter from my attorney that my court date had been pushed back to May 11 2006...yes 2006. I was so angry, I could have spit nickels but when I called his office to find out what idiot had loosened the chain, I could not get past his secretary. Now this is a very nice, sweet young lady but I almost blew a gasket when she relayed the message from her boss that it was decided that the May date would give both of us a chance to finish the sales of our homes and office buildings.
Since then .....surprise... she has done nothing to sell our home that she is living in. I haven't gotten any contracts from the agreed upon real estate agent. She says one thing at our mediation meetings but when it comes down to having to move out of our cushy home and experience a smidgen of a life displaced from familiar surroundings, she does nothing. now call me paranoid ... but aren't you wondering what ~other documents~ you may have "signed" without actually signing them? [color:"red"] red flag alert [/color]
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krusht,
Karma, perhaps. The high road is ALWAYS the road to travel.
I want to also make a correction. My WW has issued me a personal check for half the amount of the two checks. Since it has been written on the stopped check account, it is worthless.
One of the first posters to my story when I appeared in April of 04 was keepmvn4rd. I have looked occasionally for a re-appearance but I have not found him(her) in a long time. When I outlined my Plan B , he was very encouraging as to my path and stressed that above all else, I should treat myself with respect. One of his posts has stayed with me (as has Noodle's). I paraphrase here
" Cymanca keep doing what you are doing(my Plan B) and she will return. YOU will have the last word if this M will succeed or fail"
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Something to keep in mind, because this envolves a bank this will probably be a federal felony, which will require mandatory time to be served. I would carefully think this out. While we want people to pay for their actions, sometimes the price to pay can be terribly high.
What other retibution can she provide?
Last edited by AskMe; 11/09/05 04:06 PM.
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Pep,
Just before D-Day my WW refinanced almost all of our real estate . I trusted her with my life then , so I signed unquestioning.
It does indeed make me wonder
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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My WW has issued me a personal check for half the amount of the two checks. Since it has been written on the stopped check account, it is worthless.
When did she write you this check? ~~~ before the bank caught her or after?
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She's only there because she got caught.
Committing a CRIME. A CRIME, PEOPLE!
A FELONY.
Don't attach yourself to it by attempting to cover her CRIME up, because endorsing that check does exactly that!
Im amazed there is even a debate about it.
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Pep,
The bank did not catch her, I caught her. And yes the check came after she cashed the checks but before she knew she was caught.
She told me that she was desperate for money and that her attorney was pressing her for payment of her legal bill. She also said that was why she had called me at my apartment and on my cell the night before. She couldn't answer my query on why she never left a message( she doesn't know it would have prompted a check of my email and if no NC letter arrived the phone message would have been erase, not listened to)
I also did ask her why after all the things she had done to me she never could find it in her heart or soul to face me and apologize and ask for forgiveness. It took a situation where SHE NEEDED ME to have her admit the error of her ways
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Sorry Cy ... she's not through feeding you horseapples <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
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Folks, if these were tax checks (Department of the Treasury) she forged an indorsement on this indeed will be a federal crime. Cymanca will have no say in how this proceeds. The only way for it not to be her crime is for Cymanca to commit the crime of perjury (Oh yes, that is my signature. I must have forgotten I got that $12K). Surely you good people aren't proposing Cymanca commit a crime to somehow try to rescue WW from hers!!??!! They could BOTH wind up in jail.
"18 U.S.C. § 510(a)(2), which provides:
(a) Whoever, with intent to defraud--
. . . .
(2) passes, utters, or publishes, or attempts to pass,
utter, or publish, any Treasury check or bond or
security of the United States bearing a falsely made or
forged endorsement or signature;
shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more
than ten years, or both."
Me = FBS age 51
FWH = age 51
M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20
D-Day 5/19/05
Recovered and happy
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Yes Pep, I acknowledge hat it was rude. I do apologize for that. But if you read the history behind this situation you can see that all along WW has been disrespectful and inconsiderate of Cymanca. At the same time he has been as considerate and honorable in all his actions. Whenever someone behaves badly towards us, they write us a blank cheque (sorry!) to behave just as badly and get away with it.There's always a temptation to take advantage of that. Cymanca has declined the offer all the way through his sitch. Cymanca, I think you will not be vindictive here - it's not your style. But please consider carefully what is really in your WW's best long-term interests, and in the interests, frankly, of the wider community. To protect her from prosecution and from losing her licence may seem charitable, but is she someone who really ought to be in a position of trust? If she cannot maintain her integrity when presented with pressure and temptation, should she be allowed to interract with the vulnerable? What is she were ever presented with the opportunity to defraud a patient? Is she worthy of her licence? This is a lesson she needs to learn. TA
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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I don't believe Cymanca should lie, or cover for her, or perjure himself. I think if he has a choice, he should NOT prosecute his wife.
In our marriage, it was somewhat common for one or the other of us (usually me) to endorse a check. I took care of the bills for the first half of the marriage, and didn't think twice about it.
Cymanca says his wife wrote a check to him before he discovered the problem. I really don't see the point of ruining her career.
To me, a felony is raping, killing, assaulting, or harming someone.
She has to have realized that such a large sum of money would be missed, that they are in the middle of a divorce settlement, and would have to count this money as community property. I just don't see a serious crime.
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Cy, it's been awhile since I posted but have somewhat followed your story the last several months. I concur with JL's comments, let the chips fall where they may, stay true to yourself and maintain your integrity.
I actually do believe she wanted to pay you back half the money and that is why she first wrote out the check but geez why couldn't she have told you this in advance, at least through her lawyer or a simple phone call or email.
I really would not pay attention to the more personal comments as the D settlement continues to play out. She still has a long way to go to hit rock bottom.
Remember-actions speak louder than words, believe me, you will hear alot of stuff but she needs to back all of that up with action!
Me-BS, 41/She-WS, 37. 9 Month A. D-Day: 10/11/03.
Biggest Mistake: Did not expose quick enough.
Exposed A 5/13/04, filed for D 6/14/04. WS canceled D 12/21/04. Been to ****** and Back. Now know I will be in Heaven after this Life.
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In our marriage, it was somewhat common for one or the other of us (usually me) to endorse a check. I took care of the bills for the first half of the marriage, and didn't think twice about it. ... I just don't see a serious crime. Believer, I assume this happened in the context of a trusting relationship? With the full consent (perhaps tacit) of the other party? Cymanca's is anything but a trusting relationship. There was no consent sought to do this, and no indication that consent would have been given even if it had been sought. If Cy's wife feels it's permissible to assume his consent for this, what else might she 'assume'? There are different boundaries in a hostile, divorcing situation than in a trusting marriage, and Cy's wife has hugely overstepped them. It is serious. TA
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Nature,
So good to hear from you pal.
Quote:I actually do believe she wanted to pay you back half the money and that is why she first wrote out the check but geez why couldn't she have told you this in advance, at least through her lawyer or a simple phone call or email.
I do not know WHEN she cashed the checks but only when I got copies of the checks, yesterday.
I hope things are going well with you and the missus. You guys are in my nightly prayers.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Pep,
The bank did not catch her, I caught her. And yes the check came after she cashed the checks but before she knew she was caught. so she was not trying to steal your half of the funds ... is this correct? she was "simply" getting her half ASAP because she had her ~divorce attorney~ breathing down her neck about not getting paid in a timely manner ... hmmmmmmmmmm well ... did her attorney get paid? it would be interesting to find that out .... but really, what's the point .... I think if she was not intending to cheat you out of your half .... this is probably not going to go far .... meaning the government will not want to persue this ... pretty small potatoes don't turn your back on her (meaning like the ocean ... you NEVER want to turn your back on the ocean) How is this the bank teller's fault? SHE/HE may lose his/her job .... how does that sit with you Believer?
Last edited by Pepperband; 11/09/05 05:58 PM.
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Pep,
I don't know what she was trying to do. The bank teller is being dinged because she did not verify both signatures on the check. The account it was deposited into was under my WW's maiden ( not legal) name and I was not part of that account. So the Treasury Department check was made out to Mr Cymanca xxx and Mrs Cymanca xxx but was deposited in a different last name account.
Again the check she tried to give me last night may have been written immediately after cashing the tax check or it could be 2-3 weeks after the tax checks came through.
According to my banker and my lawyer the only salient point is "did you endorse this check". If I am an honest boy the answer is no. If I say "I did" then I have perjured myself.
I want to do the right thing but I will not lie.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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