I have been reading alot about the NC and debates on it in other threads. H has not done an NC letter and has told me I have to take his word on things regarding the limited C he has with OW. *see other posts*
Anyway, about 3 days after D-Day I emailed the OW a letter, disguised as an email from WH from his address so I would be sure she would read it. After she read it she asked him to tell me not to contact her again. ( I have however, met the OW at their job since this letter) H says she did not tell him what I said to her.

Any way, this letter that I wrote was 4-6 weeks at least before I found this site, 3 days after d-day.

I wanted to share this and get anyones thoughts on what I wrote to OW and if you think I helped bust the OW's bubble in any way?

"I do not know you and it is not my place to judge you. However, I have to ask, what kind of woman knowingly persues and F*'s a married man with a family? I have to imagine that you have no conscience or morals or values!
My husband & I have had our share of troubles but that comes with the territory in a marriage. I will admit I may not be a perfect wife and have my faults. But I love my husband dearly with all of my heart and soul.
I have loved him through all of HIS bad times and stood beside him, despite how hard things were.
|And I still love him even now! Even though he has made the biggest error in judgement in his entire life, I love him and will stand by him. I am going to do everything I have to do to repair the damageand problems in our relationship, even the one that YOU helped to create.
I am NOT giving up on him and I am NOT going to divorce him!
He IS a wonderful man, as you have discovered or you would not have gone after him. But he is a MARRIED man & married to ME! He is MY husband and a wonderful, fantastic father. To interfere where you do not belong is just so very, very wrong.
I would like to appeal to you as a human being with a heart. Please leave my husband alone. Stay away from him. If you really care about him, then let him have an honest shot at trying to repair our MARRIAGE and our FAMILY.
I just do not know how to tell you enough that I truely love my husband more than life itself and I will not give up on him for one minute. He means more to me than this mistake he made during a very troubled time in our relationship.
It was unfair of you to step in and make things worse in our lives.
So please, just let him go and go away."

There it is. I just wonder sometimes if I had any impact on the OW and if I may have done the right thing.????
I probably sound like a sap but I wanted to be as non vindictive as possible and make her see ME as a human being.

Any thoughts?

Be Well,

Harmonie,
Wow, I would love to have sent a letter like that. I wrote a lot of letters to HER but never mailed them. Belive me, they were not nearly as nice as that one. My FWS says his A was so out of charcter for him - he'd really think out of character if he read what I wrote to her in my journal.

I think to have written that just after D-Day you had your thoughts pretty much together. I was still stumbling around like I was in the fog.

My FWS did not send a NC letter. His contact was over 3 weeks before D-Day. He did get one email from her in in July, but he never saw it. He had a new email and I was the only one checking his old ones. Finally, for my sanity, I closed that account. It was doing me no good to keep checking it. He has not complained when I check his voice mail, his work email, his cell phone, etc. I really believe he has maintained NC.

Again, I think the letter is awesome.
P

Thanks Move,
I was actually onday 3 of NO SLEEP when I wrote this letter! And trust me, there are "other" letters I wrote that were not so nice that I DIDN"T send!
I am STILL stumbling in a fog and it is only 2 months and 20 days since d-day. Every day is up and down, Up when I can be with H, down the minute he leaves for work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
I too am checking all things checkable. It makes me crazy to do it and I want it to stop. I guess when it does I'll know I have "recovered" from this "infection" called betrayal.

Be Well,