Hi, I'm new to this, so for once I will just open up and let it fly. My wife and I have been married for 2 years, dated a year and a half, seriously, there were on and off times before that, before our marriage and known each other for 7 years. I'm in the Navy, so I'm gone alot, I felt like I abandon her everytime I go out to sea, problem #1. Everytime I go out to sea, she gets up with her friends and goes out to the clubs, parties, and over to their houses. Trust ALL of her friends are guys that I have never met, they just dissappear when I come home. It's been rough for the past 7 months, cause all these things keep happening. She left 2 weeks ago, and is living with one of her guy friends, I'm trying to instill trust there. I know I have problems too, I have issues with my father cause of the way things happened growing up and everything that he has said has gotten etched in stone in my head. I love her more than anything, I really do. She is just killing me emotionally right now and I don't know how to deal with. I sit here at the house, by myself, listen to songs that we both love, and have crazy mood swings. None of my friends really want me around anymore, cause they're married and have children, and the only person I have really been able to talk to is my mother, brother, and sister-in-law(she still lives here, well sleeps here occasionally, she's also my wife's twin). I am going through so much stress right now, it's affecting my work, personal life, and well being. so basically I'm asking for any input to help save our marriage, cause she is my world. [color:"yellow"] [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

she's so independent now, and I'm not included in anything. Whenever I come home from being underway, I ask to go out and spend quality time with each other, but she just wants to stay at home and the emotions get more intensified. she gets easily upset at questions that i ask regard what she does when I'm gone and who she's hanging out with, but I'm expected to tell her who I hang out with while we're inport overseas. Someone who I thought was my friend told her a lie and said that I slept with one of our friends while we were overseas, now I have been completely faithful and loyal to my wife from day one. she just called looking for her sister and I could feel the tension through the phone, so here I am breaking down again, for the umpteen millionth time the past 2 weeks. i just don't know what to do, I'm so lost right now, I don't know which way is which.

Ok, first things first. It is natural to be upset. Completely natural. But, when you are so sad and depressed, it does nothing for your relationship. So, before you can get far with winning her back, you need to sort of pull yourself together.

You're in the Navy, right? Ok, first thing I think you should do is get some counseling to help you pull yourself together so you can make good choices. Are counseling services available on the base? Can your CO or whatever help you/give you contact information?

The posting on this board has been slower for the last few months. You might get more answers on Emotional Needs or on the General Questions II board. GQ II has LOTS of action.