Ok my H had an affair. He broke it off with her. We are going though counseling. But this with drawl period is killing me. I have been trying to leave him alone. but I can't help feeling as if I am the one who is paying for this. He doesn't want to hug me he doesn't want me to sit beside him. I told him last night I forgive him (I swear I think this girl was just the only one who has given him any attention except me) She doesn't love him but he thinks that she did she was sleeping with him and other guy in Iraq. he said I don't know this for sure well she is a home wrecker I can say that for sure. So what do I do when I just feel as if he is pushing me away How much longer is he gonna keep treating me like this I know he does love me and he kisses me every once in awhile and hugs me when I hug him but darn I need him please any advise

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I hope you have read all of the information here, especially the articles on how an affair should end.

Be sure that he broke it off with her. Sometimes it is not really over. Ask him if he is willing to write her a no contact letter. It should say that he made a huge mistake, loves you, and wants no contact with her ever again for any reason.

If he really broke it off with her, then he will be going through withdrawal, which usually lasts a month or so.

The next thing you have to do is check out the emotional needs questionnaire, and make sure you are meeting his top ones.

I know it seems very unfair for you to have to do all of the work right now, but that is the way it is.

Shorty,
this is a tough walk that us betrayed spouses have to do in order to save our marriages. Try and think of it this way......divorce, once it happens is for the rest of our lives......marriage, no longer how long it takes to save it, is also for the rest of our lives. You can be divorced very quickly or you can be married for the rest of your life. So try not at this point to put timetables on things. Just commit to the long haul. Thats what I did. For me it didnt work, but I have peace in the knowledge that I did everything I could.
There are very wise people on this board. Employ the principles of MB'ers. This is a war to save your marriage. Learn how to employ the weapons to save your marriage as effectively as possible. So.....chin up.....listen, read, and above all pray for strength. You are going to need it, but it can and should be done.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.