......to the ranks of the divorced!
Not necessarily happy about the circumstances that have led me to this board, but here I am nonetheless.
I am not going to rush anything in terms of future relationships. Even though I feel God has pretty much healed me during the separation, and I hold no animosity to anyone, still gonna take it slow.
Anyway, I hope I can chime in with something every once in a while that might have some value for a fellow MB'er!

Welcome crushed to the "lonely MBers club" (just kidding).

V.

Welcome Texas. It ain't so bad in here. Lots of good people bouncing back from a bump in life who share their experiences both positive and negative. You'll probably make a new friend or two (As I have! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) and the advice is priceless.

It might be best for you to offer a little about yourself, what you've been through - where you'd like to go, etc. - kind of an introduction of sorts. Then jump in and enjoy.

FR

Welcome WasCrushed!

Isn't it funny how we graduate and move on from the previous forums?

Lots of good people here as FR said. I think you will like it over here!

Karona

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Yeah.....it is funny how we move from forum to forum....I dont know if graduate is the proper term, but maybe it is.
As I was nearing the end, I would drop by here and lurk and I was impressed with the fact that you guys discuss a lot of interesting topics and you seem to have fun doing it.
I guess what I am debating now is how much down time, if any I should give myself. I might have to be down during deer season no matter what I decide. Not too many prospective friends are going to understand that I am going to be out in the woods every weekend between now and the end of the year.

WC~~

Okay, maybe not the correct term, but it's a progression of some sort.

As far as the having fun part, I'd say there is truth in that statement. I think it's safe to say, that we've all been through the harder times, and we're ready to catch our breath and laugh again.

For your down time, only you can be the judge of time and what works best for you.

Good luck hunting!
Karona

I hope you are healed. However, my experience has been that healing takes a lot longer thatn we would like. We think we are fine because we are zipping along one step ahead of the pain. Then something happens to slow us up (we see our ex with the other person, we see good friends who are STILL happily married), we slow down just a moment, and BANG! the pain hits us from behind.

Take care.

auto,
I can hear what you are saying. I can definitely see where a divorce with kids involved would take a long, long time to heal. I went plan b on my ex, and she never deviated...so contact has been extremely limited and I have no plan of contacting her for any purpose outside of satisfying the financial requirements of the divorce decree. We didnt have kids so I dont have that constant reminder of her.
Its kind of funny....divorce was final on Tuesday. Wednesday the birds sang a little louder. Thursday I found myself feeling really good and excited about life. Today...I've been thinking....I thought I was doing good during the separation, but now I realize I was basically somewhat of a zombie compared to what I am feeling now.
I think the healing will take place on a timetable. Not mine, but God's. I will not limit God on what that timetable will be. After all, he only needed 6 days to create the universe.

WC

Give yourself some time. I don't have kids either. I was separated about 9 months, then divorced about 4 months before starting anything like "dating", and it was nothing serious, just sticking my toe in the water. Plan B and no kids helps with recovery, in my opinion, (depending on the situation), because you have had a little time to yourself and the emotional ties have already been breaking. But... give yourself some more time, you'll find yourself PRETTY vulnerable at first. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Welcome WC...

I think you'll do good.
You don't have the stigma of the "never been married, must be something wrong with him..."
And the no-kids demographic can be very popular with the ladies -- no reason to remain tangled with the XW.

Keep yourself grounded -- its easy to succumb to the first person paying attention to you and meeting your needs after a long break.

Good Luck!

I think you guys have offered some very sage advice about vulnerability. I can definitely see where that could be a problem. I do know this though, I am really enjoying the solitude. I love going home....cooking what I want to eat, hanging out with my dogs, watching what I want to watch on tv. Through the separation, I have learned to appreciate these elements of my life. Now, that being said, I do long for companionship at times. Thankfully though, my family is close. I spent this past weekend with my older brother hunting. It was absolutely glorious. We had the best time!
You know, one other thing I have found.......dogs have a very healing effect. The unconditional love is amazing. I get a daily dose of it and it is also nice to be needed. So, all in all, life is pretty darn good. I see absolutely no need to get into any type of relationship right now. Friends would be nice.....dinner, a movie, some live music.....but definitely nothing heavy. I suppose when I am ready to put myself in position for such a friendship is when I will be ready. One thing I have learned though, is that I dont want to ever be the reason for someone else's unhappiness. Kinda gun shy that way.