Hello,

Its been a few days, and they have not been easy. Things were getting very rocky with WW. There were things going on that were making me think something was up again, and when i asked her for the complete transparant honesty reccommended on this site, i didn't get it. She went to the other extreme, and didnt answer my calls for the rest of the night. That night I hit bottom. I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. I wanted to go talk to my chaplain, but was afraid he would just tell me there is nothing i can do about it. So i went to my room, and cried for a few hours, and then I got down and prayed. I prayed for a long time, asking God to take control. I asked for forgiveness for trying ot exercise MY will instead of HIS will. I asked God to come into my life, and to work through me and let me help him do HIS will. I asked him to help my wife, and to help our marriage, if that is his will. I instantly felt calm, and was able to get a solid 5-6 hours of sleep (first time in months). The next day I called Renee, and talked to her about what I had done. We also talked about what she had done. She is a nurse, and has kind of diagnosed herself as having Borderline Personality Disorder. I dont know what that is, but she said it has to do with not knowing how to control emotion, which would explain why she would flip out when i would go prying into her activites (just as a note, my prying has found nothing amiss, everything seems to be on the level)... I am trying to get her to seek professional help with that, and to get the diagnosis confirmed by a mental health professional.

Anyhow, i feel much more at ease about the situation now that it is in gods hands. I am still going to do everything in my power to save my marriage, but I am not going to obsess about it the way i was before.

Anyhow, i wanted to thank all of you for your support through all of this.

Thanks,
Ray

Praise the Lord, Ray! This is great news. God will take care of you, just follow his leading.

“Lord! Give me strength to change the things I can change, give me courage to accept the things I cannot change, and grant me wisdom to know the difference.”

Aloha ray,

Well done! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Bless you (I know he has already).

S&C

This is major!! I believe it's so much easier when you have God on your side, and in your heart. Praying really does help!!

Ray,

Your post's title stood out as I have just finished a biography of John Newton who, upon his deathbed said, "My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things — that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."

God's grace reached out to him even while he was far from it and remarkably changed his life... over time.

Take care.

MAzingrace

that is great news

Ray

That is awesome, I praise God for your salvation. Keep up the efforts.

WOL

Ray, that's the surrender and brokenness that will bring you immeasurable peace throughout your entire life in every circumstance. No matter what happens, once you realize that not very much is about THIS life at all, it really puts things in perspective. God has a much better plan for you and your life than you could put together yourself. A few verses for you below... Congratulations!

MSA

[color:"green"] Colossians 3
Living the New Life
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honor and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires. Don't be greedy for the good things of this life, for that is idolatry. God's terrible anger will come upon those who do such things. You used to do them when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.

You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly.
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(((((Ray)))))

Welcome to the family!

Now also be sure that Satan is not tossing in the towel. In fact, he may try to "redouble" his efforts and sow doubt and fear. Just know two things you can count on if you need it, support from your fellow Christians, and the promise of God TO you in Philippians 4:13..."I can do all things through him (Christ) who gives me strength.

Now if it's possible, the two of you should be in joint Christian Marital Counseling to help you to understand what God's commands are and HOW to heal your marriage in Christ.

God bless!

I wish that I could send you the Trace Adkins version of this song from an "Amazing Grace 3" compilation - it's so fun, but this is the best I can do... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I heard an old, old story,
How a Saviour came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary,
To save a wretch like me
I heard about His groaning,
and His precious blood's atoning
Then I repented of my sin,
And won the victory

Chorus:
O victory in Jesus, my Saviour forever
He sought me, and bought me
With His redeeming blood
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him
He plunged me to victory
Beneath the cleansing flood

I heard about His healing
Of His cleansing pow'r revealing
How He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see
And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,
Come heal my broken spirit"
And somehow Jesus came and brought
To me the victory

Chorus

I heard about a mansion
He has built for me in glory
And I heard about the streets of gold
Beyond the crystal sea
About the angels singing
And the old redemption story
And some sweet day I'll sing up there
The song of victory

Chorus


Have a great, blessed day!
MSA

May the Lord of Salvation bless you always and keep you close to Him. That is GREAT NEWS!

Ray, you out there??