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How much details should I give when I expose the A to WW´s friends and family. Since I have exposed, WW has moved out and stoped all contact with me. Is this normal? It took a week to expose to everybody, a bit to long I think.
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Did you already expose? What did you say?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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yust that WW is having an A and is now WW is divorceing me. I gave the OM name. Thats all. I want to explain more details to her friends but not sure if I should because they thought I was childish to tell them about the A.
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Vanasvegen,
Sorry you are going through this....
I don't have any advice for you regarding how much to say...However, I worry that her friends will not be any help to you since their attitude is "you are wrong for telling us, we prefer to live in ignoreville"....Yet, not all her friends may feel this way, so maybe letting them know how long it has been going on is something you can add....
Best to you....
Daisy
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page some experts...mortarman is one! mimi, mel?
I think the exposure should be big.
I keep on preaching this so much just change my darn name to PREACHY but...
read carrot and stick of plan A
memorize it!
make it your mantra!
so you can do it in your sleep!
and it says...
exposure must be huge! as big as a tsunami dropping truth down.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Good point Peachy!
BIG BIG BIG.....
Daisy
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thanks. this is not easy but thank you for the support.
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van, I think you should just tell them that she is having an affair, and give the name of the OM. You don't really need to tell anymore than that. I wouldn't bother with her silly friends anymore if they are not going to be a good influence.
Heve you exposed to her parents? What about exposure opportunities on the OM's side, ie: spouse, parents, employer?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I can not get any info on OM. I think he is WW fathers age. Divorced with children our age. But there has been so many lies I don't know what to believe. I am sure lemmonman would put it in the local news paper.
Last edited by vanasvegen; 11/12/05 01:58 PM.
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I can not get any info on OM. I think he is WW fathers age. Divorced with children our age. But there has been so many lies I don't know what to believe. I am sure lemmonman would put it in the local news paper. Lemonman is a wimp; I would take out a billboard. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Please help. WW came home very upset about the exposure. She found all the e-mails I have written to family and friends.
WW said that they will go to police because I have used his name in exposing them to WW friends and family. WW wants a restraining order against me. WW said that WW is happy that I told because they don’t have to tell anymore why this M is over. There was a lot of name calling in my direction, which I just took. WW phone OM and they laughed at my e-mails and told each other that they love each other. WW said I should take the wedding ring off. We are seperated since the 9th of November.
I must say I do not like the exposure and I feel bad about it. WW said that OM is my opposite he is much better. WW thinks I am spiteful and very selfish for doing this to her. How can she ever trust me again. WW never wants to speak to me again.
Please what now???
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van, tell your W you are very sorry she is so upset, but you will do what it takes to save your marriage. Then smile sweetly.
Exposure will not make her happy, it is not supposed to. Just imagine that you have turned on the light in the crack house. The crack addicts are FURIOUS and spiteful!! They will say anything to make you stop so they can back smoking crack in peace.
Just know that you have hit your mark if your W is furious. The more furious the better, because that just means the more serious the blow you just delivered to the affair.
Your marriage can surive a little temporary anger from exposure, it can't survive an affair, so just keep telling yourself this and hang tight. It will all blow over soon!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WW said that they will go to police because I have used his name in exposing them to WW friends and family. WW wants a restraining order against me. That should be most hilarious to see your W go the police and "report" your exposure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks a lot! that helped. My hart was in my throat. Well we will put our house up for sale tomorrow. WW is adamant to move on and in with OM. Funny now all our wedding pictures has disappeared before the estate agents come here tomorrow. So I guess it will only be some time now to see what will happen in the future?
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Van (THE MAN!!)
""WW said that OM is my opposite he is much better. WW thinks I am spiteful and very selfish for doing this to her. How can she ever trust me again.""
Your W is an alien being that has just been exposed as just that. Do not believe anything that come out of her mouth. She will say whatever she can to hurt you right now.
HOW CAN SHE TRUST YOU?!?!?! See how foolish and childish her rantings are? FOGBABBLE is spouting out of her mouth.
""Please what now???""
Hold on to something solid and let her "storm" blow itself out. She is saying all kinds of things now...tryng to belittle you. SHE is the lowlife in this drama....you are on the high road, keep remembering that. She is the infidel.
""WW said that they will go to police because I have used his name in exposing them to WW friends and family.""
""WW said that WW is happy that I told because they don’t have to tell anymore why this M is over.""
See how LOONY they are?? First they are going to the police and yet they are sooo happy that everyone knows their shame!!
You did GOOD. Now curl up into a tight ball and wait for the ranting to end. Don't let her sharp tongue do any damage to you.
Stay strong!
k
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Van,
""Well we will put our house up for sale tomorrow. WW is adamant to move on and in with OM.""
Do you want this to happen?? Do you want to save your marriage?
If so, then do NOTHING that will enable this to happen. It takes two to sell the house, correct??
Do nothing hasty in the next 3 months that can not be fixed.
Things will look much differently to you (and her) in even one more month. Stay solid and strong.
k
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Thanks a lot! that helped. My hart was in my throat. Well we will put our house up for sale tomorrow. WW is adamant to move on and in with OM. Funny now all our wedding pictures has disappeared before the estate agents come here tomorrow. So I guess it will only be some time now to see what will happen in the future? Why in the world are you selling your house??? Don't sign anything! Don't go along with anything. Tell the agents you are not selling and won't sign anything. Why are you helping her????
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Van, go back and tell her:
"you know, sweetheart, I decided I don't want to sell the house and would rather work on our marriage."
WS: WELL, I AM GETTING A DIVORCE!!!
Van: I sure hate to hear that, dear. But I don't "do" divorce, I will only discuss working on our marriage.
Then you SMILE SWEETLY...
And you never, ever, allow her to bait you into a fight. Got it?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"If you want a divorce, I will surely be sad, but I won't help you do that."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Funny stuff, we just gave our house up for sale. WW just now said that she did not have an affair. Yesteday WW and OM said they love each other over the phone with me in the room. This is sad to see WW in this state, WW was a very strong person before. My quetion is what do I do from now on? WW wants NO contact. Do I wait for het to contact me in the future?
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