Well, it has been almost 2 years, but I am back.

My husband had am EA on the computer and phone that finally lead to a big blow up between the two of us. He stopped talking to the OW. I thought things were getting better between us. He spends less time on the computer and as far as I know does not talk to anyone on the phone.

We are even doing stuff together more like going out and shopping together.

Two months ago I gave birth to a little boy. My husband posted this announcement on his IM away message. The OW IM'd him "congratulations". I was there when this happened. My husband promised he would not talk to her. He deleted her name off his list a year ago, but she didn't do the same. After this happened he promised me he would not talk to her again.I have since found out he lied. He gave her his new IM screenname and I have checked the achrives and nothing has happened between them yet, but he has still lied to me. They have talked and said they missed each other.

This made me curious about another person he has been talking to. According to my husband this is a person he met through an online game. He "says" he doesn't know if "she" is actually a "she". Apparently on this game he met the person some guys thought it was cool to play female characters. However, since I checked the archives I am sure he knows it is a female. They had cybersex (well at least him telling her what to do) and he told her that he almost called me by her name the other night.

My husband doesn't know I have figured out his passwords to his emails and IMs. I am afraid to confront him that he will change the codes. It is much worse speculating, but having no way to find out for sure.

It is not like it was a two years ago. Back then he actually waiting till I was asleep to call these women. I am worried though cause I go back to work next month and he will be home during the day with the baby. I am worried that he might start that all up again.

Why do men do this? He promised never to hurt me and last time he didn't think of it as an affair. He sees nothing wrong with it. How do i confront him?

I don't want to go back to the pain of two years ago. I have warned him that if he did anything like it again I would leave him. That I wouldn't go through that again. I deffinitly don't want our son goin gthrough it. What do I do?

We can't afford a marriage counselor. He sees a counselor for depression as it is, but as he is changing jobs next month and we are going to lose our insurance. I am also worried that the only reason he hasn't gone back to the way it was is becuase his meds have him semi balanced. I am not sure if he is going to stick to the meds once they are coming out of our own pocket. We are broke as it is.

I hate this feeling!

UPDATE!

I checked his IM archives again. He had phone sex with the OW. We have talked about the situation and my fears. He has told me he is not the same person that he was 2 years ago and he wouldn't do that to me again. But I guess he was lying. He doesn't know I have proof of what he has done. I don't know how to approach him about it. If I tell him I found it on the computer then we will get no where. I have no idea when he was able to call this woman. He must have lied to me and told me he was on the phone with his mom or future step-mom. Those are the only people he has been talking to that I know of. He is never alone right now. My father-in-law lives with us. I am on maternity leave so I am home. My father-in-laws fiancee is staying with us with her son till next week. How did he manage this?

I am so confused and it is making me sick thinking of all this. I want a good marraige with a husband who wants me and only me. Why does he have to talk to other women?

I am going to propose to him that we start the new year over. No phone sex or computer chat. We will forget everything that happened and start over. The house is all ours in January and he will be home alone during the day. He is already planning calling her during this time when he promised me he wouldn't do anything like it again.

So much for being a different person. I am tempted to IM the OW and give her a piece of my mind. She knows he is married with a new baby. What kind of person does stuff like this?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=1#2856079

I'm a guy, and I can assure you, women do it as well. I have an almost similar situation myself. Though not as bad as your case. However, it terminated at the cybersex, no phone calls and stuff like that. I'm not overly happy about it myself, but in your case, I would be taking off on him.

He's well aware of the consequences and yet he proceeds. You're young. Time to chalk it up as a mistake and lesson learned and move on. He's had two years to smarten up, sounds like he may be taking you for granted once again. If my wife does this to me again, I will leave and never look back. I hate this feeling too! But I have made the choice to live with it for now, in the hopes of finding the love that we shared once, again.

Good luck.