Hi everyone.
My husband had an affair a little under three years ago. I never got the feeling that he was particularly remorseful about it. However, I've been trying to make things work for our daughter's sake and because deep down inside I still loved him. We've had our ups and downs since then, but overall things seemed like they were going okay.
However, in the past few weeks my husband has been really mean to me. He has a few moments here and there where he is his usual sweet self, but most of the time now he just seems really bitter and angry, tells me to shut up, etc.
His current behavior is reminding me all too much of the way he acted right before I found out he was cheating on me 3 years ago, and I've found different things here and there to make me suspect that there really could be an OW#2 right now. He of course denies that he is cheating. I want to believe him but there are just too many red flags to ignore. If I find out that he really IS cheating, then I'm pretty sure that I have no interest in being with him anymore as I just would never understand how he could do that to me twice after he saw how much his first affair affected me.
He sent me an email recently saying that he's so depressed and thinks we both need to get on anti-D's asap and he said we needed to start going to marriage counseling. However, he changed his mind real quick and said that while he is depressed, he refuses to get on anti-D's because he was on them before and hated how they made him feel. He says he'll go to counseling if I can pay for them as he says he's already really strapped financially right now.
I'm just not sure what the best way to handle all this is. Like I said before, if I find out he is cheating then I don't know that I would even want to save our marriage, but I would maybe consider it if he seemed genuinely remorseful and did all the right things that he didn't do after affair #1 (individual counseling, marriage counseling, anti-D's, accounting for his whereabouts, etc). Any input would be much appreciated. Thanks.
