I am having a hard time dealing with my husband's ex and it is causing tension between us. A little background history. My husband and I have been friends for over twenty years. We all spent time together as couples when we were married to our other spouses. Of course you would think that there may be hard feelings. No we didn't start seeing each other or professed any love until years after we both were divorce. But his ex made us believe that she was fine with everything because she was already engaged and living with someone else. His ex-wife attended our wedding and has traveled to spent holidays with us at my family home(she is in NY, we are in MD). A couple of years after their divorce she allowed him to pay a decreased child support amount than what was in the divorce decree for the last four years but they never went to modify it with the court. She just went and closed the case with child support enforcement. Well, now she is pregnant and every two months she has asked for an increase. We have been able to accomdate her up to this point by buying all clothes, paying all daycare and extra activities, even paying her when we have the child for the summer. But she is complaining that her new baby's daycare is going to cost her over $800 a month, so she need another increase from him. I don't think it is fair for us to have to help pay for her new baby. But since the last order states that he is to pay a higher amount, she wants to take us back to court. She lives with her husband-to-be, they just moved into a new place and he just bought a new SUV. I am upset by her threats, but my husband is choosing to ignore her. She is leaving messages on the phone, not allowing him to talk to his daughter and sending emails. She has made false statments in the emails to get him to respond. I know he is doing the right thing by ignoring her, I just feel like she is getting away with lying. I feel that because the last order is for a greater amount they may take her side. Any advice on how to keep sane through this situation?

I would suggest talking to a lawyer. I would also hope that she didn't sue y'all for back support for the amount he shorted her over the past 4 years. Tell me, why did she let him pay less? Why didn't he do it legally?

Something ain't adding up here. If she did let him pay less over the past 4 years and is now asking him to simply pay what was ordered, he'd be smart to simply pay. Let me ask you something because you do sound angry with her, are you also grateful that she let y'all pay less than you were obligated to for the support of his child?

To answer your questions. She was trying to make amends for the nasty divorce. He was ordered to pay a certain amount because he was working and she was not and didn't have any skills. He was the breadwinner in the family. She changed it because he was no longer working and she was working and in a new relationship. So she had no desire to be a part of his life. They got to a point were they could be friends and parents to their daughter. They trusted each other, that is why there hasn't been a problem for the last couple of years. This all changed when she recently got pregnant with a baby that she admitted she doesn't want. She had been telling us for awhile that we would have to give their daugther a sibling because neither her or her boyfriend wanted kids. She is under stress because of the unwanted pregnancy and her baby's father is not making the financial changes in his life, so she is now asking us for an increase. She admitted in an email that she is only asking for the increase because she now has a $800 day care bill to pay. I am angry because we were all at a point of being friends and good parents. I am angry because all the hard work that we did to get to this point is going down the drain because she is unhappy with her present condition. As for why my husband didn't go to court, when you go through so much drama and court dates with a person, you are happy to get to a point of being civil. You don't want to have to go back to having drama. If you are at a point where you trust each other than going to court is not a concern. All parents are not in court over child support. If they trust each other and are able to work out their own problems that is the way they deal with it.

Your best thing to do is to wait until she gets married, then have everyone's incomes evaluated and let the state come up with an amount that should be paid, then pay that only. If you can't afford clothing or anything else besides child support for one child then just pay that. If you choose to do more for the child and you want to, then do more but at your choice not the mothers.