I just read up on the plan A and plan B. Is it a selfish demand to ask the WH to come home? He is living with friends right now, and ultimatly plans to file at the first of the year. He says that he has seem major changes in me, but the walls are already up and he isn't willing to allow me to possibly hurt him again. He won't fill out a love buster questionnaire since he doesn't see the need for me to have one from him. I told him that he would see that the home was "safe" for him now and that I would take care of him and not behave as I did in the past. That after a while he would be out of withdrawl and feel his heart soften. I just don't see how that can happen with him not being here with me. I need a lot of advice and support. I feel like I am sitting on a wave, making progress but then slowly reverting back to nothing.

'coming home' is supposed to be what he gets after he has dealt with the hurtful behaviour. If he doesn't want to come home, what will you use to entice him to stop the things he is doing (not sure about your situation).

I asked a similar question because H being away six nights a week was part of the problem. I told him not to come back that one night until he has found a family friendly job. It was enough to make him uncomfortable, but nothing has changed yet.

How much contact do you have while he is with his friends?

Have you read some of the plan B threads here, there is lots of good advice there.

If he has already cut off contact with you, I don't know how plan B can work for you, but others might have some ideas. Keep reading and thinking, ideas will come.

Good luck,