It has been ~ 6yrs I have been going around with my GF, who refuses to get involved in any type of physical intimacy. Even, kissing is like - NO NO before marriage.

Have been trying to explain to her; this is not the right thing, I too have my expectations. But, nothing seems to be working. Now, we have regular fights on this, and she kind of now has changed.

But, now the problem is: I am too egoistic to sleep with her. I know, my problem is typical and very weired! But, what should I do now???

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,
- Mr. VG.

Is this a cultural issue? OK, thus far for 6 years she's stated that she has a boundary. Have you respected that? Have you remained faithful to her for these 6 years of no kissing, etc.?


OUCH!So you've been telling her that it's wrong for her to have a boundary? Granted she may have taken it to the extreme but where did it come from (religion, culture)? Many groups of people do believe it's wrong to go to far before marriage and that is not wrong, that's their belief. When someone comes in and discounts that it is they who become wrong. So you've manipulated, controlled, or whatever and she's changing, what does that mean? Now she's open to having sex? Now she's physically available?


I don't understand what it means to be too egotistical to sleep with her, please explain....

Let me first thank you for responding to my post.

Yes, this is a cultural issue. I belong to India and till date sex is a taboo here. So, my GF believes to this school of thought that no sex before marriage.

Though we meet often, spend lots of time with each other - still no physical bonding exists.

I am so frustrated with these thoughts that I used to have tons of fights with her, in fact our relation was on the verge of break-off at times.

So, now she realized that this guy needs to be sexually satisfied, hence she gave up (so that our relation continues). Also, we might get married soon, but things are in such a bad state now, we have lost the charm we had for each other in early years.

And all this continued for months togeother, that I got really hurt. Now, that she is physically available due to my ego problems I refuse plainly.

OK, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a thing about the culture in India. But I am curious as to why you are so anxious to turn away from your roots? Are you going to pick and choose the beliefs you were taught that only benefit you? If y’all have children are you going to raise them with your cultural beliefs or apart from your culture?

“””Also, we might get married soon, but things are in such a bad state now, we have lost the charm we had for each other in early years.”””

I, personally, don’t believe that sex is going to fix that. If y’all do have sex, then get married, then practice your cultural beliefs, I believe she will resent you for forcing her to go beyond her beliefs.

”””Now, that she is physically available due to my ego problems I refuse plainly.”””

I’m still not understanding what you are meaning by your ‘ego’. I can see that you are in obvious conflict between what you want and what you’ve been taught. To me, that’s something you should explore and address prior to making a decision that may possibly bring harm to others.