First of all, thank you for reading my post. I don't know if I am out of line or not. My wife "frequently" accuses me of not allowing her to feel. I totally agree that we should be allowed to have whatever feelings come up. My problem is how she deals with the feelings. Yesterday was a good example. We have been working out at the gym together (MonWedFri) for several weeks now. I "can" get there by 1:10pm, but often times things will come up that prevent me from leaving at the normal time. My wife is a housewife so her schedule is more flexible. I have been late getting to the gym (5-15 minutes) several times. Most of the time I apologize, but yesterday, I could tell that she was very irritated by the look on her face and her actions. She did not say anything, but she didn't have to. Instead of apologizing (which would have been a much better choice) I told her that I didn't appreciate her being angry with me and that it doesn't make it enjoyable for me to work out with her if she is going to get angry with me when I don't get there at the same time. I could understand her frustration with me being late, but when I have no control over it and I am not being late because I am blowing her off, I don't think her "feelings" should be directed towards me. She says that because ahe said nothing to me about her feelings, she wasn't doing anything to me. I don't know that there is a black and white situation here. I can think of several solutions to the being late to the gym problem, but it is the issue of her feelings and how she handles them that bothers me. If I do something thoughtless or intentional that would upset her, I could totally expect her to act angry towards me. I would deserve it. By the way, even though her anger level rose as we continued to discuss this yesterday, she was just as sweet as could be to our kids.
Thanks for any help on this
Ron <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
