I have been watching all the limping from one false revovery to the other. And Doggone it, it is sad to see. I searched for a list of REAL signs of repentance and willngness to make amends and could't see one.

1. NC Letter without forcing or guilting them into it
2. Transparency NO Secrets access to ALL emails, letters, phones, etc.
3. All time apart accounted for.
4. POJA


And Orchid, earlier this year you had a link to a former MBer on the infidelity .com board who had a godsend in her counsellor who is helpng her work through her anger and getting her to realize how damging her own behaviour has been. I cannot remember her name. I wanted to see if there were any further sessions. I really got a lot of information off her posts. ANd even forwarded that info to my IC.

Thanks


So, can we start one?

Add Policy of Radical Honesty PORH to your list.
Willingness to participate in Marriage Counseling wouldn't hurt.
Enthusiastic Meeting of ENs


The woman on the SurvivingInfidelity board, was "Mulberry" and she and her husband were seeing a hard-tailed Counselor named "Jerry". Hope this helps.

THank you 10S! I have been trying for a week to remember the posters name.

And I am adding those to my list.

My question has to do a lot with the dichotomy that BS are prone to. In total shock that their spouse is betraying their family . Coupled with the denial that things will get far worse become they become better. If at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Especially when there is that almost inevitable false recovery after D-Day.

ANd I figure if we can come up with a list. Forwarned is forearmed. imvho.

I know that in Plan A and PLan B, NC play a crucial part. But The WS are alien, lying, manipulative, cheaters while they are in their fog. And so are the BS!!!! And I see one heck of a lot of "sure I'll do it, I'm so sorry" and no follow through. They manage to manipulate their S and wriggle their way out of doing a lot of things that need attention. Meanwhile the BS gets emotionally slammed and has to keep the fmaily together, deal with all the related issues and endure increasing pain and self-doubt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

In fact, I would probably put MC as a priority. IF they can find the right one. THere are a lot of pro-divorce/anti- MB ones out there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Gee can you tell I have been there done that and have the T-shirt? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />