I am doing some research on the human psyche, and more specifically, how it relates to the "wedding day." Basically, I want to know why the woman has such a large emphasis on "the big day" and why they have been planning for "the big day" for their entire life. On the other side of the spectrum, the only way the male will get involved is if the in-laws are prodding him with a shock stick. Why do women have such a large emphasis on their wedding day? Were they taught that way? Are there inherent psychological differences? Is it sociological in their upbringings? Is it genetic? Where does it come from? PM your thoughts to me or post. Thanks so much for responding...

What an interesting question!!

I feel blessed that I'm not a woman who has been planning the "big day" my whole life! I know the type of dress I'd like to wear, and I know the church I want to get married in, and I really only fantasize about those things when I'm interested in someone.

I'm not sure why some women think about their wedding day so much. I guess it says alot about a woman's values and preferences.

I would really emphasize the sacramental nature of marriage. If I ever get married, it's going to be elegant, but understated. No dog and pony show for me. And hopefully I'll be able to rein in my impulse to register for every kitchen gadget, pot, pan, oven mitt, and pillow case I've ever dreamed of owning in my life!! It seems that as the religious aspect of marriage fades into the background, weddings have gotten out of control it terms of the expenses involved. (I realize that as economic conditions improve in a culture, religion declines, so the astronomically expensive, religious-in-name-only wedding is just sort of a sign of the times.) No destination weddings for me, no destination bachelor or bachelorette parties, no needless expenses for family and friends to incur.

These are the first thoughts that have come to mind. I'm someone who leans away from sociological explanations for human behavior, I think most of what we do is just biologically driven.

Well, in theory, there was the "virginity" issue, in that the "girl" became a woman, left her family, and started a new one, and so there was a lot of symbolism there.

Frankly, I think too much importance is placed on it. Liek somehow saying "I do", w/o adequate preparation somehow equates to a lifetime of bliss, and that a persons personality changes in that moment. Drunks become sober, womanizers become monogamous, and apparently, the blind see as well.

Frankly, it's all a lot of hooey. Not that I didn't enjoy my wedding, and I didn't have to be prodded there with a stick, only that I think it's over emphasized...

Dutch,

The simple answer is culture (country, nationality, religion, family, friends, teachers, etc). It's definitely a learned behavior, nothing to do with genetics or DNA.

Good luck on your research.

I never really thought about my wedding day until after we got engaged. Then we planned & executed the whole thing in maybe 2 months, and it was a very nice wedding. I think I bought the gown the same day I started shopping for it. The hardest part was finding a day the church was available.

I've never understood why some people make such a big deal out of it; seems to me the emphasis is in the wrong place.

Kathi

It's become a status symbol to those who spends thousands upon millions for a wedding.

Hey I am a woman getting married this June and have been planning for as long as I can remember. When you are a little girl its the dream of that special day that is yours like wanting to be a princess. As you get older its wanting to celebrate your love and share it with those around you. Men who want to be married typically look forward to the mariage not the wedding, my fiancee doesn't want to wear a tux, make a speech, could care less about flowers and what the cake looks like, he just wants me to be his wife. i want to be his wife but i want to fully express the extent of my love and have a wedding that represents me. My cake is out of a martha stewart book, lillies(my fave)are everywhere, we are getting married under a gazebo and I am walking down the aisle as a string cortette plays, then on to cocktail hour, my colours are black and white. I am a rather classy woman and I want my wedding to represent that class, elegance, style, taste and above all love. it is only natural a woman plans, men can wear the same suit to 5 weddings and no one notices, women get a new dress everytime, when entertaining men care what the food tastes like, women want taste as well as presentation and who gets flowers sent to them more often...women. Break it down into sections and it is as clear as day why women dream of and plan their weddings!

Well I never did any of the "what my wedding will be like" daydreaming at any age when I was a child, and never worried about it as an adult either. So I'm as curious about the question as you are, because I don't get it either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

bride2b expresses a lot of things I've heard throughout my life from other girls, for whatever that's worth.

Little girls often enough like to play dress-up, and some figure out that a wedding is an occasion for some SERIOUS dress-up. To a lot of little girls who dream of being a bride, that's all it means to them -- they've observed that a bride gets the mega-dress and all kinds of attention and presents, and they don't really have any clear idea of what it's about beyond that. But dreaming of being a bride gets fixed in their heads.

Other dreams fall by the wayside as you grow up; you find you don't have the voice to be a pop star or the emaciation to be a model, so you shrug those off and focus on other things. But the little-girl fantasy of "bride" is still attainable. Maybe that's part of it.