My XH gets the boys over the thanksgiving holiday! Which started on Friday for him. our oldest son had a sleepover on Saturday, which I cleared it with XH first, but heard about it later on. anyway, the X asked me if I could p/u DS at party and he would p/u DS at noon from our house. At first I said no, but later offered to help him out. although he has not done the same for me since the Divorce, but that is a whole nother story!

Sooo, I pick DS up at 10 and left a msg for XH to meet us at Barnes N Noble. XH calls at 11:00 and says he would be there in 30...never mind he was going to be 30 min late as usual!

I am sitting down with DS waiting, and I am looking forward to seeing my other two boys. I approach XH who is conversing with someone else and I do not see my boys. I interrupted him and said "Where are the boys?" he said "I left them in ****" I said "You left them with ******?"

I walked off hearing him tell this man "that's my X"

OK, here is the clincher...the boys just met the OW YESTERDAY! and he is already leaving them with her...he KNEW i wanted to see my boys! But what can I do? Nothing!

I could go on and on about what he has done...but I have limited myself to posting on this board! I'm just hurt that he would not bring the boys to see me and leave them with her...it's like a huge stab in the heart!

((((Mom))))

Adjusting to the cruelty of this man has had you off balance for several years now.

Eventually you will get to the point where you expect cruelty so that you have zero expectations of any humanity in the man. Therefore, you won't be disappointed when again, he steps up to the measure of his puny stature.

What a bitter pill to swallow mt3,

I can see how angry and hurt you could be over that. Shoot, I'm angry for you.

Its amazing how clueless ex-husbands are, just floating along in their sea of o/w fog.

I guess its time to pull out the negotiating skill book and work to get equal treatment.

I hope you are getting to spend Thanksgiving with family or friends.

Take care of yourself M3B

Puke,gag,hurl!

SO sorry Mom that OW is now anywhere near your boys.How dreadful.What is the little homewrecking tramp up to these days? Still working at the NH? There should be a law that no child should be left with a homewrecker(OP) even after a D.It's truly sickening.

IMO,you tell your cheating EX that you do not want the boys left in the care of this (wretched)OW.

{{{MOM}}}

Hiya Mom,

He was not too overly concerned about your feelings before, why would you consider him to do so now?

As for not bringing your boys. Ok I know I'd be very disappointed too.

It was NOT a specific request, & he obviously did not see it as doing anything other than what exactly was planned meet & pick up the one child spoken of.

The harsh reality is hurtful to you. ((((Mom))))).

He is probably totally unfazed by his tardiness too, & does not see anything 'wrong' with letting his girlfriend mind his children.

When you eventually find yourself in another relationship where you consider your boyfriend worthy of your children's attention I am sure you will rely on your boyfriend at times to keep a eye on them too.

Oh I know that smarts, I am sorry for being pragmatic. Life does go on, regardless of how we feel, others do as they will.

In the future perhaps more CLARITY - be specific - say exactly what you want - don't assume anything.

Sorry (((((Mom))))), tough day another lesson in life, and you will go on and have many many happy days too.

Plan for them, & make them happen for YOU!

Best Wishes Ktulu

So where was the baby? Is OC along on this friendly, family weekend? There's nothing you can do about it but it's not an easy thing to swallow. Think about how much OW must love it being saddled with 4 kids for the Holidays.

I think you have to detach yourself from the madness. You need to school yourself that when the boys are with XH, that they are unavailable to you. I suggest that you don't allow yourself to be available for special pickups. That you go with the legal agreement to the letter.

I also think that you come here and vent as much as possible this weekend. Yell, scream, rant and get it out of your system. That way when your boys return home, the poison has left you. I suspect the boys will come home with a whole lot of questions. All you can do is provide reasonable, rational answers as best you can. They are really going to need your love, consistence and support when they get home.

I hope you have a decent weekend. I'm happy for you because I assume this means that if XH has the kids for Thanksgiving, then you'll have them for Christmas. That's a good thought to hold on to.


((((((((((((m23b)))))))))))

Sorry for all you're going through, MT3B.... I guess its par for the course in most divorce situations. There is a transition period of sorts and you're in it.

Keep your head held high. Always take the high road but don't go out of your way for your Xh because, frankly, he doesn't deserve it. If it makes your kids suffer, then you can reconsider, but if its just to convenience XH I wouldn't even give it a thought.

Take care of you and the kids. They are what matters now. And chalk the rest of XHs assiness up to just that.... his assiness. Karma awaits this man, MT3B. Big time.

~ Snow

So he took your children to the oink pen?

Hey d23bs...... how dumb is that!!??!?!? Guess you don't think of your children do you? Oink pen is no place for your 1st family. Got nothing to say for the OC since she is tied by blood to queen oink.

Just when I thought you'd be getting smarter, u go and do something dumb like that. Really d23bs u r a disappointment.

Ok mom......whatch gonna do?

Hugz 2 mom,
L.

I truly feel your pain...as my xh married ow (preggers) 3 days after judge signing D papers.

Can only say this ...if your D papers state that members of opposite sex are not allowed for overnight visits in home of custodial parent when said children are in the home.

Enforce it.

I am so sorry for your xh's stupdity and insensitivity. those in the fog do not understand what they are doing...to their former spouse's...and ultimately to their kids...who will remember their selfish actions and lack of morality.

huge to you ((()))).

Hi MT3B, if you remember us Lost71 & NotTooLost...

I read your post to H and he just said,
"For a doctor, he sure is a dumb4ss."

Thought you'd appreciate that.

MSA

Thanks for all the replies! I am not so much hurt by the fact that he left the kids with the OW, because frankly I think that the OW has a much better head on her shoulders than he does, but that I wanted to SEE my boys today. I was looking forward to seeing them. He did this out of spite I am afraid.

The boys only just met the OW yesterday for the very first time and only briefly at that. Then he goes and leaves the boys with this complete stranger in person, but not in name. Oh well, what can I do?

he is habitualy late. Late for everything.

I must say for the most part I am very happy! I am much happier now than I have been in many many years. I was awarded a nice amount in CS and ALIMONY, which in TX does not come easily. XH was very upset about that one as he and his lawyer tried to prove I did not deserve alimony.

For the most part I was awarded most everything...the house and most everything in it...the only things he went after was the...now hold your seats people, cuz this will be of great shock to all of you:

china, silver, grandfather clock, crystal and DOGS!!!!

So basically anything of value he wanted and we now have to split down the middle! Wow, big surprise there! We could not decide on the dogs so the judge put each dogs name in a cup (we have four dogs: two big and two little ones; all of which were brought home by me personally) and drew the names out one by one. Trouble is our beloved family dog. The first dog that I got as a five week old mut. She is my dog and that is the one dog he wanted! that was the first name drawn and he was awarded the dog. I then chose the two smaller dogs for the kids and he was awarded the other big dog.

XH and I dont speak, at all! he shows up to get the kids and drops them off. I do get them for XMAS. but only the first half. But I do get them XMAS day, which I am very pleased with. He is bringing the boys back on Friday, two days early. The only just started going with him for overnight stays about 3 weeks ago. He purchased the house back in Sept and only just now started having them overnight. Two weekends of which have been in the clinic. I have no idea if the OW is working at the NH or not. I suspect she is not, as XH needs someone to watch over the children during his long visits with them. He surely cannot take off work, I have been told on more than one ocassion that HIS job is way more important than MY going to school and he cannot help me watch the kids when they are sick (which coincidently happened not too long ago...DS7 was ill for days and I had already missed two days of school for court appearences and asked if XH could watch DS...his answer was that he had a job) yea, he has a job to support all of his children! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

anyway, life is very busy...but very satisfying i must say! We are doing very well and we are very happy!

Glad to see an update on your sitch M23B and that you're doing well and happy. Congrats on the more than fair settlement.

I'm afraid XH is in for a big surprise yet and he's still out there in la la land. What a dork eh.

I'd be heartbroken having to give my dogs up. Do you get visitation? Geez, it's not like he's home alot and able to spend time with them. Sounds like he barely has time enough for the boys.

It goes to show where his head is still by leaving the boys with OW after them just having met her and then still playing games with you and not bringing them to see you.

I was just wondering about you this morning!

FANTASTIC- DIVORCED FROM THE BRAINLESS WONDER!

What he did was manipulation, pure and simple. Its so obvious its embarrassing.

He's trying to get under your skin. He is trying to keep that drama going with you because he's ticked you went through with the divorce.

I agree with the others- when its his time to visit, dont try to see the boys. The brainless wonder will just think its about him anyway and try to get some payback.

CONGRATULATIONS FOR LOSING 200 POUNDS OF DEADWEIGHT!

{{{M2TB}}} Missed ya! I am so happy for you, really. You sound really good. Are you still dating the same guy?