Hellow Ladies,
I have pretty much decided to get back into the dating world. I actually put a profile out on one of the dating sights and waited. In a few days, I got winked at by a lady, and we corresponded. Now we will meet.

So what do I talk about?

Should it be general stuff about me, my kids, my job, what I like to do for fun?

Should I get into what my idea of a good relationship should be, or is that to heavy for starters?

Are there any topics you think guy should mention or should NOT mention? OK, I know not to spend much time talking about the divorce and my cheating ex wife. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My opinion JE,
Stay away from x, divorce, unless if she asks. If she does, keep it brief. I wouldn't go into a lot of detail. There is plenty of time for that later, if things continue.

I think I would stay away from the relationship stuff too at this point.

"Should it be general stuff about me, my kids, my job, what I like to do for fun?"

I think this is good, and please, ask her about herself too.

I don't know if you read about my date over a week ago. The guy didn't ask me 1 thing about me, my life, my job, kids, nothing. It made me feel like I wasn't worth knowing anything about.

Reminder from the other thread, a light touch on the back or elbow, is nice when following her thru a door. It gives me the sense of he is attracted to me, but being a gentlemen.

Enjoy yourself JE! I think you will do great. It's nice to know that there are men who care to do/say things right for the women.

Karona

Justin -

You will do just fine. I like Karona's idea of a light touch on the back or elbow.

I would skip completely over your divorce and problems with your wife. When I dated before WH, I met lots of men that seemed to be hung up on their last relationship. It was a big turn-off to me.

Be yourself and keep things light. Ask about her. What she likes to do, her job, her family, books she has read,what she watches. Those kinds of questions can open up lots of communication and can really let you get to know someone in a short amount of time.
Most of all - HAVE FUN

Hey JE,

I'm no lady, but I think I could offer some tips.

Make sure that communication flows equally (50-50 as best you can).

If you talk about yourself, keep it mainly based on facts of your life and not your opinions of yourself.

Do not talk about your EX or any past relationships unless she specifically asks you questions in regards to them. If she does ask, keep your answers 100% honest, don't try to hide truths and be as open as possible, they eventually come out anyways. Do NOT put down your EXs, your date is a woman too and if you say negative things that remind her of things her EX has said, you'll lose major points there.

If there seems to be a good connection, I find it important to discuss things like religion, children and finances. It is important to be on the same page in regards to these three topics. If not, it's best to find out early.

Since you met her online, memorize as much as you can about her profile, especially areas of common interest. This will help with conversation.

Do not discuss any topics about sex unless she brings it up first.

Look into her eyes as often as you can while talking with her. Don't let her catch you checking our her body (which you will do instintfully by nature).

Good luck and have fun!

JE,
I'm on the dating sites too. I've met many a man and have dated countless...argh!
I'll tell you the ones that I would not see after the first date:
1) Bashed X-tells me either he's not over it, or he's bitter.
2) Didn't ask me anything about me...I make it a point to ask these guys about themselves. I want to meet someone who knows themself. If there is any indication of victimization or not taking responsibility for oneself, I'm out. Many times I'll ask them what they learned about themselves in their marriage and/or last relationship; would they change anything.
3) If anything is mentioned about sex on the first date, I'm out.
4) I ask them about what they said in their profile. I want someone who is honest about who they are. If they say they work out I ask them what they do and where... IMO, if they will lie about something small and stupid, they will lie about anything.
5) If they gush over me on the first date and think they know what I'm all about...this tells me they may have a tendency to rush into things. You can't possibly know me well enough after the first date to think I'm all that (it takes time to get to know that I'm FABULOUS!!!) hee hee!

What will keep me coming back:
1) Genuineness. Be yourself, good or bad-better to know up front what you're dealing with than later.
2) Open and honest-to a degree, you don't have to TELL ALL! But what you do say, be honest. Also, if you aren't interested, just say so. Don't waste my time and/or yours!
3) Have fun, tell jokes, be light-hearted.
4) We girls totally know you are checking us out. I don't mind if I catch you looking at my butt, don't fixate! But yes, look me in my eyes! You are there to check me out just as much as I am you! Do you think I'm not checking out YOUR rear?!

Grita checks out mens rears! Hee, hee, hee <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Well, that's what I'll admit to! ha ha! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

JE, I think this is another one where you want to be yourself, but not too much yourself. All the suggestions are good, but allow yourself to relax enough to let your date see a little about you. Things like your sense of humor.

I think on the first couple of dates, people are looking to see if personalities click and if you have some common ground. After you've established that you like each other's personalities, then you start to explore and learn about each other's characters.

A little compliment goes a long way as well. Just make sure it's true. Like tell your date what attracted you to her profile to start in the first place.

Justin,
I didn't put my 2 cents in because I felt like you got enough feedback. The other girls said the same stuff I would.

Have you had your date yet? Keep us posted!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />