Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1526468 11/22/05 09:16 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 92
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 92
I have posted several times, basically about the same problems that I am feeling. For some background my WW had A with my sisters H off/on for 2 years. We have been M for 18 years. I found out about this about 2 months ago. We do not communicate like I feel that we should about this. WW has stated that she has told me all that I need to know and we don’t need to talk about it anymore. She just wants to move on and forget it happened. Last night we had a conversation about the A again, simply because I have issues that I need to resolve. She immediately began to justify the A by saying some fairly hurtful things about how bad a person I am/have been to her. WW even went as far as to say that she has hated me for the last 2 years and still does to some degree, all the while wanting to work the M out because she loves me deeply. This is so confusing to me, and I don’t know what to make of this. I do acknowledge that I have not been meeting her EN’s to a degree, but I will not take the blame for her decision to betray me. I am not very positive about saving the M at this point because she seems to only be justifying this A and not acknowledging that she has made a huge mistake. She does say that she regrets the A but it seems to me that she is more regretful that it ended. This may not be true, but it is how I feel. Basically I feel that she only sees fault in me and does not see the total picture of what she has done. Is this a fog or is she just a withdrawal period? There is NC at all since my sister has her H on lock-down at this time. There will be NC during the holiday season either. Any advice would be appreciated.


BS (Me) 37 WW 38 M 18 years DD 11 yrs. old PA 2 Years with BIL D-Day 24 Sep 05
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
O
Owl Offline
Member
Member
O Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
Two words for you...MARRIAGE COUNSELING.

Get a pro-marriage counselor, one who understands infidelity, and get there quick.

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 957
Call the Harleys, I've had a session with jennifer and it was well worth it.


"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
krk, she may want to "move on" but her victim, that would be YOU, is laying on the floor bleeding to death. You can't "move on" until you have all the facts. The facts about her affair are facts about YOUR LIFE to which you have a right to know. You are entitled to know the truth so you can better understand what happened here. And until you understand it, you cannot recover. You can never recover while she has secrets with the OM to which you are not privy.

Explain this to her. Don't fight about it, but very persistently and firmly assert your position that you must know the truth about your life in order to move forward.

I would also print Joseph's letter and hand it to her:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2739000


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (still seeking), 369 guests, and 60 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0