Hello everyone. This is my 1st time posting on this site. Me and my husband have been married for 3 years, and we have a 2 year old son. My husband has anger issues, and I don't deal with them well. We fight a lot, argue all the time, we don't agree on much. I am not happy at all. I don't feel like he loves me genuinely. He always jokes around saying "It's cheaper to keep her"... so sometimes I feel like thats what he is doing. His actions speak louder than his words, which contridict themselves. It is just so hard being with him. He is not really a nice person. Our relationship has been rough since the beginning of the marriage. The way he is now is not the way he was before we got married. We have been to marriage counseling twice, and nothing works in the long run. I am currently in therapy alone, dealing with the death of my dad, and I just need someone to talk to about our marriage problems. Our son has come to me on more than one occassion and told me that "daddy scares him". That was a HUGE deal for me, and still is. My one dream in life was to have a happy family. I always said I would never get divorced, that I didn't believe in that. So the thoughts of my family/marriage shattered, are heartbreaking! But I don't know how much more I can stand. I am confused and scared. How did you finally decided divorce was for you?

Thanks.

When I realized that none of the MB principles would work to salvage my marriage, and when my X wouldn't work on the M, then it was time to file. Think about whether or not you have a good foundation in your marriage, if you do and there are no abuse issues, the MB principles can really improve your marriage beyond what you ever expected.

Prickly,

First thing... If you are concerned for your safety or your childs, then be careful. Have an exit plan, a safe place to go...

2nd thing... Sit your husband down and have a very frank conversation with him. Tell him in all honesty how you feel, and what you want. Tell him you want to work together with him so you both can have the relationship you want. He just may work with you... Follow the MB principles.

3rd thing... I filed after my wife had 3 emotional affairs and refused to go to counseling. The divorce has been murder on me... I loved her so much but could not take it anymore. Divorce is the final option....

Keith

This is particularly true where children are involved.
After you feel safe, for your own piece of mind and for your child, do all you can to improve the state of your marriage (and you can do this alone). If there's no improvement - then make a decision, but make sure it is not something you may regret in the future.