I can now see why staying together is the harder choice
That is very true. Sorry that you have to be here. It does sound like your H did understand that his previous A was a big mistake. Was he also remorseful for hurting you and does he understand why your need for him to be an open book is necessary for you to recover.
Have the two of you done anything to strengthen and affair-proof your marriage since his A? Have you been to MC?
I can certainly understand why you don't trust him, but has he done anything specific to make you think he will have another affair, or is it simply that he did it once, what is keeping him from doing it again?
All of that said, my FWH's A took place almost completely during business trips. OW worked for him as a free lancer and lived 3000 miles away and although she had no official reason to join him, he paid for her airfare out of his own pocket so she could join him.
It is really kind of sad when you think about it, because he wouldn't take her to any conference social activities or dinners with coworkers or clients so she just sat in their hotel room waiting to be used by him at his convenience!
Keep in mind that not all business associates use official travel as an excuse and/or opportunity to cheat. I travel extensively on business and it is almost always with men. We have an occasional drink and usually dine together as well and I have never been tempted to make it anything more.
Please give us a little more background on your situation. There are many folks here who are ready willing and able to help you get thru this.
Bless You,
Who