I really need some help with this. My husband and I have only been married six months. He is younger than me, and we had a fairly quick courtship. He convinced me that I was the One he had been looking for and we married last May. He has bipolar disorder, which I should have investigated but I didn't.
We recently moved 57 miles closer to his work...now Im only doing temp work, looking for a good job..and his job is not enough to pay the bills.
We had no longer moved than he confesses to having at least an emotional affair with the coffee girl at work. She was fired for being unreliable the first day we were moved here....and then he started sneaking out and meeting her at lunch, and staying after work for "meetings with the boss".
I contacted his ex wife who told me that he had had a pattern during their marriage of having thesse emotional affairs about every 2 years or so. I'm not sure how much of it is related to his bipolar stuff..or how much is just because he had a rocky childhood watching his mom and dad rip each other apart with cheating and such. He admits that he never left one woman without having the next one lined up.
He has some crazy romantic idea of love that he keeps chasing..the faces change but the lines the same. He realizes now that he has a pattern, and says he wants to stop it. We will be seeing a counselor tonight. What bothers me is he completely refuses to cut contact with the other woman, even though she has moved out of state, he continues to talk to her through email. He says they are "just friends" but if that's true i dont understand why he must be so secretive about what they talk about.
We dont have enough money for him to move out, so we are sleeping in separate bedrooms. I would like to do all I can to save this marriage..its my third and I am afraid it will be my last try altogether. He says he still loves me, but his actions say he cares more for Her feelings, or maybe his, than mine.
He says he needs to "be alone" to sort things out, and yet he won't really be alone..because he intends to stay in contact with both of us, I guess until he makes up his mind.
Im not sure now if we have anything left to say, since my trust is in ruins and I don't beleive he is in touch with reality.
I am having a hard time coping with him. He acts like he still cares, very affectionate...no sex , but hugs. But then he totally disregards my feelings and keeps on talking to her.
I wonder if there is any hope. He still intends to move out as soon as we can afford it. I don't know what i hope for anymore. My feelings are about rung out. It may already be too late to start over..but I cant see getting anywhere as long as she is still in the picture.
