I love my wife more than any other woman I've met, but I can't stand living with her. She's my second wife, we've been married just over four years. I don't know how to describe her....stressed, angry or just mean. The *slightest* little thing sends her into a tizzy....she's always been a little prone to flying off the handle, but it's gotten unbearable lately.
A few examples....a few weeks ago, on the way to work, my cellphone rings....she proceeds to yell and scream at me because the kids woke up early (about 15 minutes after I left) and how she doesn't get enough sleep, how my job (M-F, 7:30 - 4:30) interferes with her life. We went to bed at the same time (as we do every night), but I can't get her to understand that I'm not getting any more sleep than she is, plus she takes a nap every other day or so.
Another example...just a few days ago we were in town shopping (had a babysitter, so was just her and I). After lunch we decided to go to a store...on the way to that store I inadvertently got in the turn lane one stop-light too soon. As soon I we stopped at the light, I realized it and said "Oh crap, I should have gone to the next light, will have to take the next right after we turn to get on the right road." She then started in on me...telling me that if I don't know where I'm going then I should go a way I do know, that I'm stupid because this must be the right road since it's got the same name as the shopping center we're going to...then she said, "If you didn't want to go to this store, you could have just said so." All I did was make a mistake, admitted it and corrected it, but had to listen to her yell until we got to the store.
The other day, we had company and our son wanted an apple. I got him one and was crossing the kitchen to wash it off and he started screaming at me to give it to him (wonder where he gets that behavior from), I tell him to hold on a second and let me clean it off when my wife SCREAMS from the other room to "Just give him the ****ed apple so he'll shut up." Then, once again, started yelling at me about how worthless I am, how I didn't clean out the refridgerator for THREE days while she was out of town and how I "make your son scream" all the time. My son is smart and knows that if he screams and cries then mommy will yell at daddy and will intervene and let him get his way.
The latest is Thanksgiving...we made plans to spend it at my parents, with my other 2 children (from a previous marriage) at their house (5 hour trip). 3 days ago, she tells me that she bought her father a plane ticket to fly in on the day after Thanksgiving so I need to change the plans and get somebody to bring my kids up to the house. I knew her father was flying in, but she told me it was the week after...she told me she got the ticket for Friday because it was a little CHEAPER. And she expects everyone else to change their plans because of it ("I don't understand why your parents can't bring the girls up and we'll have Thanksgiving here"....."BECAUSE it's been planned at my sisters, she already has the stuff AND they have to WORK the next day"). So now I get yelled at and/or ignored because I didn't turn the world over after she bought her dad a little cheaper plane ticket (without consulting me), and it's because I don't care about her family, as if visiting my parents and children were exclusive of her dad visiting, even though both could have and should have happened without a hitch.
I CAN'T live like this anymore. I *NEVER* know what is going to send her off the deep end...it happens almost daily. I dread coming home to her (it's great when she's out of town). I still love her deeply, because I know who she is underneath. She won't go to counseling ("What is talking to somebody going to do.") I'm at my end, I don't understand why she's like this and how to give her PERSPECTIVE that she isn't the CENTER of the world and that a mistake is just a mistake, not a passive-aggressive action... NOTHING is ever her fault, EVER.
HEEEELP
