I want someone who will cherish me and wonder how he got so lucky as to be a part of my life. I see someone who will see our breakup as his greatest stroke of luck. Someone who will look at my quilts and my paintings and the things I make and tell me that I'm talented. I might even overhear him telling a friend about me with pride. I see someone who will look deep into my eyes and say "God, you're beautiful". I see someone who considers me first, before work, friends, and anything outside the home. I see someone who knows me and understands my shortcomings but will love me enough to gently tell me how I can do something differently if it bothers him so much. I see someone who will pitch in and maybe cook dinner every so often. Even if it's a sandwich. Why? Because he loves me and he knows it would make me happy. Someone who will surprise me with a cup a coffee in the morning. Why? Because he notices and he enjoys doing nice things for me every now and then. It makes me feel special. He will give me notes or cards every so often, just because. He will hold my hand or give me a kiss in public every now and then. He will hold me when I cry, listen when I talk, and let me be me, for better or worse. Most of all, he will respect me.
If he was this man during your marriage that's one thing...if not, he may never reconcile with you after reading this. Does any one else see this paragraph as a trojan horse LB?
Anyway, deep down he knows he is failing you and his family. He feels guilt but compartmentalizes it for now to escape from it. He may laugh this paragraph off as your pipe dream but he more likely will apply rationalizations and justifications to it thinking..."I am incapable and/or could never satisfy this woman like she wants or needs so why not just let her go...it's easier/better that way." To summarize...if he was not this man... you may not win him back by pointing out all his other failings on top of the affair. His other failings can be addressed once the affair is busted up and you work to restore your marriage.
Daisy is right about this being a love letter. I have not advised too much on them as I have never written a Plan B letter (thank God) but this paragraph could be utilized if you changed it from discussing a metaphorical husband to discussing the husband he surely grew up wishing/planning to be. The husband he, you and God thought he was going on your wedding day. The husband he used to be (before being abducted by aliens). Then you conclude the paragraph with his thinking point..."Are you not the man I married", "Who are you? or something to that effect (see other letters).
Dr. Harley told a friend of mine on here a few weeks ago that Plan B is more about YOU moving forward with your life. Sure it has the benefit of potentially busting up the affair and may lead to the restoration of your marriage but that is only a side benefit.
Again as Daisy mentioned, your Plan B letter really does need to be shorter. You will have to repeatedly give this letter to WH when he persists with violating it. It will become your response when you must respond. It should not be longer than one page.
You should read Gramns Thread (just the last 2 months) wherein they discuss him going to Plan B with a child involved. Your letter above invites WH to speak with you about "important" matters involving DS. You may discover then that everything will then become "important" so he can then get his fix of you. Do you not have a go-between to communicate through? Maybe a notebook to pass back and forth? Gramn's thread discusses having a plan to deal with many kid issues going forward so you can stay as dark as possible. Remember, you are going to miss your fix of WH as well and may subconsciously find ways to get around Plan B yourself. Plan B is most effective for your recovery of YOURSELF and possibly the marriage if you become and remain as DARK as possible.
When do you intend to deliver this letter?
It's Thanksgiving and nobody has been around for you so I posted despite it not really being my expertise. I worried you'd deliver it without comment. I hope my post makes sense cause it is late and I do not feel like editing or even proof-reading tonight.
We all wish YOU success with YOUR Plan B.
Mr. Wondering
