Ok, well since you didn't ask, I'll give you another laugh..... the OW in my case and the WS' 1st fianced shared teh same 1st name. That means the one b4 me and after me had the same name. They even looked alike, except one was Mexican and the other Chinese. I told the H (after his santity returned), if he liked those pmsing kind so much, why did he marry me.....the total opposite of both those OWs. His fiancee called off the wedding with no explanation. She had a repuation for one who would not keep a commitment (her friends vouched for that). The OW on the other hand was a control freak, I suspect bi-polar or just plain crazy.

H said, he knew he had a good thing when he married me. Ha!!! I told him I didn't know if I was just complimented or insulted. LOL!!!! He had a lot of make up work ahead of him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Dear Daisy,

I could not use computer for a while and just caught up with your stories. I am so sorry you are going through this.

First, please know that you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you. Second, what your H is doing is very similar to my STBXH. Mine has written so many love letters to different girls, saying pretty much the same thing your H has said in his email. Basically they all believe they married for wrong reasons and they are not happy because of their empty marriage or something, blaming us for their emptiness.

Mine confessed that every time he was stressed out, such as when he was changing his jobs, he fell in love with other women (in his fantasy world). That is a pure escaping tactic! When he at least possesed some logical thinking, he knew that he could not afford losing his family because of his fantasy. But now he truly believes in it. He BELIEVES it is our job to make them happy, and if he is not happy, because M is a lot of work and especially once you have kids, your needs are often not met immediately because your priority shifts, he is ENTITLED to move on, trying to find "true love" that would make him COMPLETE and so happy.

I have been very hurt and still am, but reading your posts, other WS's stories now make me believe that those guys are all running away from reality, that is all. Whatever they say (that they never loved us or they married us for wrong reasons, etc.) is a complete fog talk. They believe in it now, but that is not true.

I know you are so hurt, but even if he was with someone else, he would have written the same thing, because he cannot handle responsibility.

When I say this, please do not misunderstand me - but the fortunate thing is you do not have kids together. It was much easier emotionally for me when I was overseas for three weeks, simply because I did not have to see STBX. Unfortunately, because we have DS3, I have to see him every time he picks up and drops off our son. Which is a constant reminder, and not very pleasant. It would have beem easier if (even though the amount of pain and grief we have to go through remains the same) I did not have to see him ever again. You mentioned that there was a period when you decided you would not see your H, and it was getting easier for you. You have the option if you chooses too, so that is good.

I do not believe your H turned friendship into marriage. Mine said the similar thing, but later on when he had a moment when he was out of the fog (which did not last very long unfortunately), he cried and said he DID love me very much. I know your H loved you dearly, and he just does not remember those feelings right now, because that is not going to make whatever he wants to do easier.

Take care Daisy. Hugs.

Milk

Milk,
Thank you! You have been reading my sitch here so you know....he really was taking me for a ride and I have the feeling that he realized that that was not right and now wants to keep his distance. I am still convinced he does not know what he wants in life....but I am more and more thinking that he knows what he does not want...and that is me. He really did not believe in us for a long time....probably since after we got married. He always thought if we did not get engaged 3 months after we met we would never have gottten engaged or married. He probably had few moments when he did believe in us, but those were rare.

I am really tired and emotionally drained and I cannot deal with him right now. Unfortunately, I cannot count on myself to stop myself from going over there or drive by his house (like I did last night)....I also don't have any emotional support here and although I will see my family over the holidays they really are not like a true friend. My best friend lives in out of state...we have been talking to each other every day and I have decided to go see her. I need a break from all this and I really just need a friend. If I am still up to it....and if it even makes any sense anymore....I will talk to the Harleys after the holidays (I just will not have the money now if I go see my friend...and really at this point I need to think about saving myself and I just need to be away from here and surrounded by someone who cares about me).....I am not sure I want this M anymore. He has hurt me a lot and I don't trust him at all, I don't trust his motives and I just need a serious break.

I am more and more convinced that he has made up his mind but does not want to be the bad guy and instead of telling me "I am serious, I don't want this M" he is just waiting for me to accept it. I think he believes that when he emailed me and told me all I want is friendship...that that was enough to make it end for him and he does not need to say anything more....never mind that we slept together several times since then...etc...etc....

I really don't know if I want to save this or not. I am thinking if I get out of here for some time and think without having to run into him or convincing myself to see him that it will be good to get some perspective. I really believe it is time for him to do or say something....I will not stop talking to him and be pleasant and I certainly will not LB if we cross paths.....so I'll try the Harleys after the holidays if it still makes some sense to me....

Orchid,
I tell you that name Kim is really a trigger for me now. I went to sleep last night and at 12:30am someone calls me and asks for KIM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. A wrong number obviously....but I could not believe it....

Thank you all.....

Daisy

Good morning Daisy-
I'm sorry that you are having to go through this pain and
turmoil. I certainly understand, with our H's being so
similiar in some of their actions and things they've said.
I think Milk really "nailed" it when she said that our H's
start looking and feel "entitled" to find someone else or
a situation that will make them feel happy and complete-
My IC has said that it is very common for people with
depression and/or other emotional/mental issues to look for
other things or people to "blame" instead of accepting that
they are the source, and this certainly seems the case with
my WH.

Please realize that it is not YOU. You sound like a fun,
smart, loving person who has made every effort to build a
great marriage and help and support your H with his job
situation, school, depression, etc.
One thing I've asked my IC and really feel a need to under-
stand is why my H got married if he didn't want to be married, and why he now seems like such a different person
than the man I married. She doesn't have answer to these
things, of course, but has said, people do have a tendency
to "re-write" the past to make it suit their behaviors,
actions, and to allow them to live with their conscious !
(and we know this does fit with the MB philosophies and
behaviors as well). I want to believe and hope that WH did
want to marry me, does love me, and that the "real" H is
still in there somewhere, but it's really hard to know.

I think you might agree that one thing making our situations
so hard is the very conflicted behavior of our H's- both
seem to be "fence sitters"!! Yours calls you, wants to get
together, wants to sleep with you, but doesn't want to talk
or be honest about his thoughts, feelings and plans.
Mine calls me, wants to get together ocassionally, but is
still involved with OW, still lies to me, and goes back and
forth with how he feels, what he wants to do, etc.
I guess they are just too foggy to realize what this does to
us, our feelings, our sanity !!
I too feel very hurt, very disappointed in H, and don't
trust him or his motives at all. I do feel some relief in
him being out of the house and our contact being limited,
but it's not a marriage, and I don't want to continue like
this much longer.
Just recently, I've also started to realize what a coward
my WH is. He won't come out and be honest and just tell me
what's going on, how he feels, what he wants, etc., so just leaves it to me to read his mind, I guess, or figure things
out on my own. He knows that I know all about OW, but he
still tries to minimize that or act like it's a big secret.
I think he is so used to lying and being secretive (partly
his upbringing and disfunctional family) that he doesn't
even give it a second thought. I think I feel really sad and
disappointed that my "strong rock" (what I used to consider
H) is really a coward and actually quite weak.

I'm glad you have a good friend you can visit. It sure is
nice to have a break, change of scenery, and be able to talk
about things with someone who cares-

I tried to update my old thread but can't retrieve it, so
will probably start a new one today- keep me posted on your
sitch too !
Slammed

Slammed! Thank you.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I know people are dealing with worse things (if I am allowed to compare) in life and people here are dealing with a lot of stress and WS coming and going and sleeping with OP etc......yet, this is my life and I am just having a hard time and I need a break.....I feel like the WS in all this <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />....doing what I can to keep contact with my H....even though deep down I know it is not in my best interest........I am too weak right now....no pitty party here...just facts ! I cannot break contact from him. I have no close friends here..... I need to get out of this city...see a true friend.....I hope that time away will give me a chance to get stronger and deal with him.......as is, we work in the same place (not the same building) and I have to walk by his place almost everyday knowing that he is just a few feet away....I am tired of it....

I had to call him to take care of the cats while I am out of town....and he agreed....then asked me to go out to a movie with him today....I am not strong enough to say no! I want to be in his company even after everything........yet it is hurting me.....I have IC tomorrow...I need to really get at the root of this problem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />.......I feel like I have a double personality <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />....constant fight going on inside.....heart and mind are not in sink again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />.....

Daisy

Daisy-
I totally understand what you mean about heart and mind not being in "synch" !! I sometimes have done some things which
were "against my better judgement" in dealing with H, but
just can't seem to help myself. I guess somehow I'm still hoping deep down that time together will give me some kind
of insight about what's going on with H or a chance to
remind him of the good times we have together.
Even though I've read all the info on Plan B, as well as
the similiar plans such as "180 degrees" or "tough love",
I have a hard time not responding to WH and treating him
as well as I did when we were together.
I do still enjoy talking and spending time with him- although I am at the same time thinking- "he probably just
talked to OW, or is lying to her to eat lunch with me", or
similiar thoughts !

Think I told you WH had come over yesterday- well, later
I decided to call and ask if he wanted to come over for
dinner. He answered his phone and said he was at the mall.
(I assumed he was alone or wouldn't have answered his phone
but he didn't ask me to do anything). Said he couldn't hear
well so would call me back. He did call a little later and
said he could stop by and we could order a pizza. I was
surprised but pleased, and agreed. Then in a few minutes he
called back and said he had "just remembered" that he was
supposed to meet his friend to talk about some business
issues, he was sorry, and could we get together another
night ? I didn't say anything, but definitely felt it was
a lie- figured the OW must have called wanting him to do
something, and he thought it'd be easier to lie to me than
her. I felt sad, because it reminded me that I'm not his
priority (and haven't been for a long time) and reminded
me how much I hate the doubts, wondering, lying, etc.

I usually sleep pretty well (stress is so tiring), and have
rarely dreamed about WH, but last night I dreamt of him,
the OW, phone calls, checking up on him, etc. all weaved
together, and woke up feeling uneasy- not sure what I want
to do, and not sure if I could ever trust H again.
I am supposed to be filling out the paperwork to change us
to his new medical insurance, but feel funny even doing that, with such uncertainty about the future.

Haven't heard from him today (although he said last night
he would call me about lunch)and I feel okay about that.
Sometimes it's easier to just go to a "neutral" mode and not
deal with him. Then, however, I feel really bad if I don't
hear from him for a couple days- go figure !!!!

I have my IC this week too-
I'm sure IC will say the feelings and uncertainty are very
normal and she'll probably also continue to suggest I have
a time-frame in mind for deciding what to do. That's hard
for me, even with all that's gone on.
At times, I just wish I'd never met H and still had my old townhouse, old job, old life, without all this pain and mess
to deal with. Since that's not possible, I guess I also
wish it was all just "done", so I wouldn't have to deal
with everything...especially over holidays.

Slammed
house,

Slammed....

Sometimes it's easier to just go to a "neutral" mode and not
deal with him. Then, however, I feel really bad if I don't
hear from him for a couple days- go figure !!!!

I complete understand.....this is my problem....when I am not in contact with him I get into panic mode...but when I am in contact with him then I am hurting.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Well, I had IC today....it went well. I discussed my finding H's email....felt prity embarrassed telling a person face to face about checking H's emails.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I have been feeling really low lately. I think I realized just how little contact H and I have....that the link between us is so small....just how separate our lives are. Had a bit of a health problem arise and the first person I thought of talking to about it was H....that just made me sad since I realized that I really have no reason to call him and share anything about my life with him.....my life is my own and his is his and for the most part they are mutually exclusive…..a real separation indeed... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I am just walking around like a zombie these last few days....anything and everything is a trigger...I got to get out of this. I have some people coming over on Thursday night for dinner....will give me something to do....put the house in order...etc...

Last night I went to the movie with H. After the movie we walked to the car but it is -10C here so really cold....we kind of stood there in front of our cars and neither one of us was saying good night....so I said I was going to get some tea at starbucks....he said he'd come along and look at books (its inside a bookshop)....we ended up looking around at books and it was surreally normal (if that makes any sense at all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)....but we had a nice time discussing some books and laughing at some things that we always laughed at....then we finally said goodnight....

I told IC about the part of the email where H says that R, friendships etc....are all just another type of work....IC just smiled....and said "does not sound like he has changed much".....yah, IC is right. H sees Rs as work and does not like it....nothing has changed. He still hates that idea....realizes it was work....but does not realize yet that Rs are work no matter who you are with..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Slammed, I have had many dreams of H. Last month I dreamt several times that H was going to come back to work on the R.....then yesterday I had a really ugly dream where I, H, his mother and my family were all together on vacation <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> and H told me he did not want me or my family there and he and his mother just left together to be away from us! Ahhhhh...

His mother is really protective of him....anyway....

Dreams...I hope I have no more dreams of H and us.....

Well, I am off to make some dinner...and then do some work here.....

All the best to you slammed....Milk, thanks for you post as well...I'll check your thread soon.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

hey daisy

(from your post to me on my thread)



i'm just wonndering...if you have no children and no pets...why do your think your husband IS still contacting you and seeing you?? It sounds to me like you are meeting some need that he has....even if neither of you think it's true

he must not be able to live without you in his life in some way

i think that's why plan B is supposed to work...and you're supposed to do it while you ARE still meeting some needs for them...the more the better

and if he's still wanting to go to movies with you and have SF with you...well he still needs/wants you around

i hope you are able to call the Harley's...to me this sounds full of possibilities

and if he's still wanting to go to movies with you and have SF with you...well he still needs/wants you around

Well, no he has not wanted SF for the last 2 months....I was still getting a feeling he did want to have S till about 3 weeks ago...but I think now he does realize that that is complicating matters and is not a good idea...

Yes, he still asked to go to the movies and we did have such a nice time at the bookstore....I tell you that it felt so good to be with him....I was so comfortable....more than in the few months before he left....I don't know how he felt though....

Thank you for your thoughts....I do think it helps to look at a situation from afar....hard for me to do....probably easier for others.....

I spoke with my friend today and she feels H does not know what he wants....her H on the other hand thinks my H is moving on....so who know????

I keep saving the last mesage that H left on my answering machine.....It is from last monday when he called to tell me if I have something to say to just come and say it...no "appointments".....he sounds really nice, his words make me sad, but his voice is kind....I need to get rid of it.....I am really holding on to straws here....

Thanks again Eve...

Daisy

Sometimes Daisy i wish that my H would just contact me for ME....not the boys...just so i could believe that maybe it was ME that he cared about...ME that he was missing

you have no reason to believe otherwise...all he gets from contacting you is YOU

sound hopeful to me:)

and i think plan B thoughts are that if he wants/needs you in his life this much and he gets this without having to give up OW....well why give her up??? he's getting everything he wants/needs from 2 people

If you remove yourself from the picture...he has to have all of his needs met from OW...from what i've been assured...they almost always fail!!

that's when they start missing what they got from you...they DO NOT miss it as long as they are still getting it when they want it (attention, affection, SF, conversation)

anyway...those were the reasons that helped me to make my decisions and my H was ONLY contacting me by e-mail and only about the dogs..HE had said he would prefer not TO SEE ME and he had stopped calling me....

alot less hope in my situation than in yours don't you think?

but still i believe that there has GOT to be something that he gets from me that she can't give him...some need that only I can meet...some reason why he loved me...because i know he did!!

Don't you believe those things too?

please call Jennifer if you can....her positive attitude and stories of past dealing with others in this situation helped me so much!


and hey...I've saved 7 messages from my H on my cell phone...i listen to them when I'm missing him:)

Eav...
Thank you for your thoughts <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />....I know what you are saying...sometimes I don't see the hope....I worry he just feels quilty.....I will try to give her a call....

I am hoping that H will miss me and some of our life together as he will watch over the cats when I am gone. He may choose to stay at his house and just come to feed them and all....but I really hope he stays here over night as he did before. I really do! Frankly, I cannot imagine him going to stay at his place (one room in a basements of a house) and not stay here in a nice house with the couch he just loves (oh, yes he does <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />!)....anyway....the downside is, if he is seeing someone...I hope he has the decency not to bring her here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />....

I really need someone to take care of the cats and just like you love the dogs, I love my cats and I don't want them to be alone every night for days....they love to hang out with me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />...and I know H loves the cats (he is the reason we got them!) and he always asks how they are doing....so I do want him to stay here.....so my hope is that being here will remind him of 'us' as it reminds me of that EVERY day!

Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hey Eav....

I called the Harleys and the next available appointment is with S.H. tomorrow morning....so I jumped on it. I am a little nevrous now......I guess I need to get my thoughts together what I'll say.....

I was able to arrange something with my parents about the money so I feel quite lucky.....and now he is available tomorrow so that is great...I was afraid he would not be available till next week when I leave....so this it good...

If anyone has any thoughts on this please let me know.....your own experience in having a first session and what I should have ready would be very helpful.

Thank you....

Daisy

I think I have become really scared that this friend of his will replace me....I know H has a need for conversation and I want to be there to meet that need....I am afraid she may meet that need.....It doesn't really make any sense in a way because he has always been looking for more (as his continueous emails to all sort of people proof), so maybe I never met that need anyway.....but I guess I am a little freaked out that she will replace me and than he will not contact me any more...and not miss me..I think that thought pushed me to get that appointment with Steve.....

Anyway,...just rambeling here...

Daisy

Daisy, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is while you're still trying to figure out what is going on, and you feel like you're tilting at windmills.

Don't be too hard on yourself; you're 'getting it' faster than many, and way faster than I did.

not_so_you_neak

I seem to go through the windmill a lot.....Sometimes I think I am doing better that I am finally in a good place and just then everything kind of gets turn up side down and I thown around for anohter ride.......

I hope that the session with Steve goes well and gives me some perspective..

Thanks for your thoughts.

Daisy

well, I think I am reaching the end here....I am afraid H is really gone and I am reaching out to the Harleys for my last shred of hope.....

I think H has completely convinced himself life without me will work out for him eventually. He does not seem very happy to me now. Now on top of it all, winter is here (-20C here) and that is going to make going out more difficult and really less pleasant as he is not much into the cold. I really believe unlike in the Summer when he kept insisting he is happier since he left, he is not that happy now, but believes we don't work, so things will improve with time.

I have lost my best friend....that hurts....does it not hurt him at all? Probably does some, so that is why he is off looking for others to fill in the gap.

I am afraid S.H. will see that there is no hope and I just need to accept that.

I am just sad..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Daisy

Daisy,

U saved Steve as your 'last hope'? I don't think Steve would like knowing you saved him for last! LOL!! Just kidding.

The point is you called Steve. Remember he is there to help you heal. Get a plan. Stop trying to 2nd guess what the WS or others will do. Instead work on getting a firm resolve so that no matter which way the world turns, your feet are still planted on solid ground.

You can't control the world but you are responsible for your choices and your happiness.

Now SMILE!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

Orchid,
I guess there is a part of me that feels like I am at the end of the rope.....it just kind of worked its way out that way...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anywho....Thanks.....I am trying to put that smile on. Just went to get lunch...always got to walk by H's work...I really dislike that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> It is such a pain...I try to bring left-overs with me so I don't have to walk by there....but at the same time....I get tired of being locked away in my office...

ok, my smile is back on <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ..... thank you all....

Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

My session with Steve went very well.....he really is so easy to talk to....I will write it all out here for me while it is fresh in my mind and hopefully I can refer to it....but I hope it helps anyone else as well....


Steve started out asking me why H left. My thoughts on this have been all over the place....Steve's conclusion on the matter was that to H..the R evolved into something less than it was (less than he wanted). His opinion was that H does things based on how he feels not on what needs to be done (very true H's moto "it will get done when it gets done")....S.H. said H becomes reactionary rather then intentional...and to him the R became less and less something that was right...and he allowed his emotions to do what he felt was right....

For whatever reason H felt disconected from me....

S.H. commented on H's idea that R don't need work. I was glad to have S.H. validate my feelings on the topic....that yes, R take a lot of energy to build (I did like his word "enegry"...) That R's do require a lot of time, dedication,...even at the beginning when it does not feel like it.

I told Steve about the letter to the friend and Steve said that yes, with H's ideas about Rs not being work it will feel like you married the wrong person...that he could be reaching out...S.H. did say that history will repeat itself for H if he does not allow himself to learn from this....no other R will end differently unless he changes his position....

I asked S.H. about the Divorce. Told him that H never said he wanted a D. S.H. opinion is that H cannot come up with a reason to D and hopes that I do something about it myself...is basically waiting for me to do something about it. I think he is dead on!

So, what is the Plan?

Like you guys said, Steve gave me an exact plan on what to do. He said to read HN/HN and then present it to H. I am not to ask him to read it, but tell him that I have read this book and am trying to understand what went wrong and could H have a look at it and validate it for me. I told S.H. that I was very sceptical whether H would read it....he said that is fine.....that my goal right now...is to present it to him and tell him that I am seriously struggeling in figuring this out that I want to learn from this relationship so as to not make a mistake like this again....He said to present it to H in any way possible....so that I find out if it addresses any of the issues we had. Say that I found it interesting, BUT I am not to reveal any details about what it is that I got out of it...since that would open a door for discussion and Steve sais that is not what we want...we want him to read it and expose him to information to let him see that change is possible....

When I told Steve I doubted H would read it.....that he does not read these types of books....Steve said that H does not want to read anything he doesn't believe will work...so I am not to present it as some solution to our M or his issues....but as a favor to me so that I can get some understanding (which is true, I want that!)....Steve said to say "PLEASE"...LOL

Well, I got to go get this book....

Steve actually suggested getting it at the library for now so that way H has a deadline (so to speak).....

I guess if I do buy it, I should not make any notes in it....

Well, I got to get my hold of this book....I have read several that were at the book store but this one was never there....so I hope I'll be able to get my hands on it soon....I am not so sure H will like it.......

Steve did say that if I am not able to convince him to have a look at it...that we'll try another strategy.

He did ask me how I am doing. I told him I am up and down. I did tell him information like the letter or like the stupid candles at his house gets me suspecious and I don't do too well after that. He did ask me what I would do if I found out there was an A. I told him I guess I would still work on it since even with all the suspeciouns I still love him and still want to work this out. His suggestion to me was not to do any snooping around for now. His idea was that (I don't want to be ignorent of what is happenning) but that my strategy will be the same whether there is someone else OR not....so to keep my energy high to just stop the snooping for now....to him to was very important that I still have the energy to work on this....

Really was a nice talk.....it was good to have a professional look at my case and give me some insight and not tell me I should just give up.....I did tell him my family wants that for me to just move on....Steve said it is understandable, since they care about me, but to let them know that if they don't have anything supportive to say to me regarding my M then to just not speak of it at all.

He also said for me to keep talking to my H, that we want him to think of me but to keep it light .... and then bring up the book hopefully before I leave next week....he said it is best to do this before the holidays then after.....

This post got long really quick......

Hope it helps others....it was very helpful to me.

Any thoughts are welcome....

Daisy

Daisy,

Sounds like you learned a lot today. I am so happy for you it seems like there is still some hope. I would follow the plan to the letter for sure.

I believe Steve knows what he is talking about. I can't wait until I can have an appointment. Seems it may be after the holidays though since the money I expected won't be until after then.

I hope this is making you feel better sounds like a good plan to me..... I wish you the best of luck..

Hurting