I just got a guy responding to my ad on Match.com, and BOY is it a huge trigger for me. Ok, I know that there are lots of people out there looking for sex only, and that's the way it goes, and you just watch out for that and move on.

And I know a lot of people out there on personals sites are trying to cheat. But my XH was on the personals sites for years behind my back. His excuse wasn't that I was out of the country, it was that we just didn't connect emotionally or sexually anymore. But either way, it amounts to the same thing.

GRRRRRRRRR...... I wish SOOOOOO much that there was a way I could find this guy's wife's contact info!

Here's the message I got:

"33 white 6 175 br/br military built, married but wife is out of country on business/work for the next yr, so I am looking for a friend/buddy to give massages, fix her dinner and a glass of wine, watch a movie at home, and please her, when schedules permit. Let me know if that interest u."

I'd respond and tell him what a a** he is, but it wouldn't make a bit of difference - he'll just move on to the next prospect on the list.

Hmmm.... just had very evil thought.... perhaps I should give him phone number for trailer where XH and OW live. Tell him to ask for "the mouth" (well, only say her real name.) Say I know her to be much more amenable to that sort of arrangement. After all, she was still married when she was cheating with my (now)XH, her 1st daughter with her husband is not biologically her husband's child, and daughter she just had with XH is not biologically XH's child.

Sound's like a match made in... well, I was going to say heaven, but perhaps it would be a bit lower than that.

yuck!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I would be very tempted to tell him what I think. even though it wouldn't do any good.

I'd skip it for two reasons. First, the situation probably is exactly as you see it, and you'd be prodding a swamp was a stick--you never know what you stir up that way. Second, there's a small chance he and his wife have agreed to this arrangement. People do really odd things I'm finding out.

Most likely he's a cesspool and the less contact you have with him the better.

Vent the negative thoughts here and not to him.
Just report him to match and block him from writing to you.
There are all types of people out there. Don't waste your energy on those who are not worthy of it.

I'd write him and tell him he'd never be lucky enough to find someone like me and then block his profile so you don't hear back from him.
I'm one to hold people accountable. Granted, he's yucky, but I would feel better by saying something like...did you see anywhere on my profile that I was looking for a married man?! Something that simple says what I want to say. Who cares what HE thinks? and then I would block him and be done with it!
I actually have written IN MY PROFILE to not write me if you are married (I'm not even interested in the seperated folk), smoke, or are NOT a Christian. I still have every type write me. Depending on my mood, I either block them or say something to them. On the other hand, at least they are honest and say they are married! There are plenty out there that even lie about that! yuck! Makes me want to shower!

Maybe try Eharmony? Just kidding. I have been there with personal sites because I also had an ex b/f find someone there who had sex right off the bat. He used to troll the sites, have sex and then dump the girl so he could see the look on her face when he said he couldn't see her as relationship material. I swear he was sadistic. So I went on thinking that if my standards were high I would find someone who was like me, among all the BS. Well right away MARRIEDS all over the place.

With the same line, love my wife, but we are not sexually compatible, she hasn't had sex in 8 years, she cheats, etc..
Why do women put up with it? You know they know, and are in it for the stability?? How can they do that to other women, and why do women answer these ads? Good for you for being Pissed off,

Remember I am pissed off for you as are many other single women.
I mean why would you just accept that and say Sure Honey, anything to Please you!?? What is he God?

Anyway don't get me started-I especially hate the old, I can't leave my wife because it's not the right thing to do, but it's okay with her if I get my needs met-Deep down these men do not believe good women have sexual feelings!

on another note, I have met a really sweet and wonderful man on Yahoo Personals, who wanted the whole package before anything physical. Marriage, kids, relationship. Very romantic and sweet-the timing was not right for me but he was every woman's fantasy.

So they are out there, usually they are obviously single, make it clear they are dating many to find someone special, VERY honest about how much money they make, bring you to their home, etcc..

Good Luck,
Natalie

I am always amazed at the junk that men try on these dating sites. Some of my female friends tell me horror stories of guys who proposition them, or ask them sexually explicit questions on the first meeting or date. And yes, they also tell me about the married guys looking for something on the side. Doctors are famous for this. Did his profile indicate he was married? If not, he is a liar. What does that tell you?

I think these guys do this stuff because they are playing a nubmers game. They realize that most women will not go along, but a big enough percentage will that it's worth their time and effort to play this sick game. Just look at the other parts of the MB website. It is chockfull of stories of women who have cheated on their husband, and women who are having affairs with married men. It is this kind of woman that this guy is looking for.

He is also betting that many "good" women will be bored by a nice guy and want some excitement in their lives. So they will date these pirates until they get used, humiliated and have their hearts broken.

Just my 2 cents.

Oh, I would not reply at all. You do NOT want to be on this pervert's radar screen.

Remember, when you wrassel with a pig, the pig has fun and you get dirty.

Oh yeah, I had absolutely no intention of answering anything back - for one thing, I'm not a paying member right now, and it isn't worth paying just to respond to a jerk like that.

No, anything I put here about what I would like to respond to him with is just my way of venting and getting it out of my system. I know better than to actually respond. At best, it falls on deaf ears. At worst, you take the risk of putting yourself in the sights of a psycho-stalker type. Best to just block and ignore.

More than anything else, I just wish there was a way to warn the wife (in case she is an unknowing victim in this.) Because if she is, she WAS me just a few years ago, you know? That's the part that triggers me so much.

Jerk!

One thing I did forget to tell about this.... kind of a curiousity that happened....

I use a Mac at home, and use the Mac Mail app that comes with the OS X operating system. It has a pretty good learning junkmail filter. During the day at work, however, I check my mail on-line using Mail2Web. So, when I check it that way, I see ALL of the stupid junk mail, without all of the wonderful filtering the Mac Mail does for me. Because of this, I didn't realize at first that this response from this jerk had a small problem, sort of....

Now I've gotten other responses from people on match before, and all have gotten through the Mac Mail junk filter just fine. I first read the response from the jerk during the day through Mail2Web, so I didn't know at first, but.... Mac Mail filtered it out as junk!!! I have absolutely no clue what in his message was so different from other responses from people on Match (the basic headers are the same) that made it get thrown into the junk mail when the others didn't.

But even my Mac thought he was an a**!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />