Currently I am deployed and I am trying to think of creative ways to tell and show my husband how much I love him.

I am trying to restore a very low love bank account. My husband currently doesn't feel like he is in love with me anymore and even though he has been unfaithful, my love for him has never waivered. I have always been an affectionate person, but it is difficult when you have only the occasional phone call or email/IM.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I understand your feelings, I am currently deployed and want to show my spouse some additional affection while over here. Except I was the one unfaithful to my wife and she caught me while I was over here. I want to show her more affection over here but do not know how.

My advice to you would be to find out what he likes about you and to try to engage in that type of conversation with him. I know over here I love to see my wife on web cam or get the occassional e-mail from here. Find out what he is missing from you besides you being there and try to communicate more with him. I have been sending little things back to my wife like shirts or movies to show her that I am thinking of her over here and that she is important to me.

I am a army wife and I just found out my husband had a one night stand on his way back from leave. I really feel like he doesn't love me and wish that he would find some unique way of showing me that i am the only one and that he loves me. So I have thought about this hard. I have a great idea for both of you if your intreasted i will tell you but it just depends on how far you want to go!!! Are you up to it?

reply to all: www.Poetpassion.com

This was a website that My WH and I used during his deployment to Iraq from Jan. - Aug, 2005. 3 weeks after he left home he confessed to his current affair following a valentines email that I sent him. He said, it was just too much...and he couldn't lie to me anymore. Needless to say, I was blind-sided and shattered. I had no idea. He said, he was planning on leaving when he returned. However God intervened and used his time in the desert to call him back to himself and show him what was true in his heart and revealed the "fantacy and Affair and OW" for what they were, ALL LIES. From about the middle of March till Aug when he returned we too had to find neat little ways to show our love for each other....so that our love banks could have some sort of deposits...until he returned home and the real work and healing could begin. I know that time on the emails can be tricky and there is rarely privacy. One thing that really worked well for my husband was he had access to a laptop (his room-mates) although there was no internet connection he could sit in the privacy of his room listen to his personal music and go to a place in his mind where he could write from his heart he would save the Word doc. on a small flash drive or disk something that could be easily carried with him...and then when he went to the internet, all he had to do was download the saved file. That made a world of difference in our communications....he was able to have so much more depth and emotion. He was also able to download pics that I sent him on his email (which were quickly deleted)...and he could look at them as well in the privacy of his room. Whatever we could do to try to keep that connection and "deposits" happening. We were also able to begin the healing process because we were able to talk about the A....without worrying that someone would catch on. Small cards....handmade cards...etc, there are ways...if you try. He also asked me to send him empty cards (which were hard for him to come by never mind he had little time) so that he could fill them with what was in his heart..and then he could send them to me. Anyway....it worked for us, Praise God. He returned home safe and we have begun our journey of Healing. I wish you all Luck and that your husbands/wives...and your precious children will be kept safe until your return. If you want to let them know you care...there are ways. USAA and 1-800 flowers ...is also a good soarce for sending sweet flowers and gifts. Make the effort....It makes a difference. God Bless you all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am also in a military family (former dual mil) and think that some of the stuff on this page may help the military spouse AND the civilian spouse with some ideas.

http://www.lovingyou.com/content/groups/military/

Your messages break my heart and humble me. I am also dealing with a distant husband and a previous affair, but do not worry at night about bullets/bombs that may permanently separate the family (just a job). Thanks for your ideas for sending affection long distance. My prayers are with all military families, as they always have been, but didn't expect this tonight - this wake up call to me! Still, thanks for a blessing - things could be harder!

I am really looking for ideas to fill our love bank also but I am married to a truckdriver who is gone for weeks at a time. He doesn't have a laptop but it looks like that might be a good tool for us to communicate with.