Before I ask my question, a short bit about me. I've been lurking around for a while. I'd read the books a while ago, before my divorce. Now that I've been on my own for two years, I've started to date.

Last night was the third date with a nice gentleman. We're both in our early 40s. After a lovely dinner, I asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink. After sort of stumbling around, he suggested his house. Considering his behavior on the first two dates, I felt comfortable, and accepted.

We talked, listened to music and,yes we kissed. If you had told 17-year old me that I'd be sitting on a sofa making out with a man at my age, I would never have believed you.

He told me I was nice to hold. He also said to me "I could get lost in you," and from his tone, I know he meant it in the nicest possible way.

Yet, this morning, I had to wonder if it was a line. If it was, he didn't follow up on it last night.

It's a line but it's a good line...IF he means it.

I've had friends say their dates had used that line on them.......and it is a line.

It might be a line, but it's a nice one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Why the worry?

You are sounding like me. Trying to be a mind reader and fortune teller. I can't do it, and I doubt if you can either.

Your message seems to indicate that you had an enjoyable and romantic time with a man who likes you and respects you.

I am learning to trust my insticts and judge people by what they do rather than what they say. Your message indicates that he seems to be a keeper at this very early point in time.

What do you mean when you say "He didn't follow up"???

My gut reaction is to think that he did not try to initiate sex, but then I am just a simple minded man, so maybe you meant something else.

Oh, I am in my 50's and am finding that making out is quite pleasant at any age! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Whoa!!! Why is that statement considered "a line" ? Lilacs has been out with this "nice gentleman" three times, she feels "comfortable, and accepted", they kissed, yet he did not push for more, and Lilacs felt his comment(s) were meant in the "nicest possible way".

What if the guy actually means what he said? Perhaps he's working to express his feelings better! You know - communicate his thoughts & feelings as many say should be done.

Do you feel it's important that all of us consider the effects of cynicism to our lives, relationships, etc?

Lilacs - I for one feel you should proceed; with your heart and your eyes open. Don't make him responsible for previous hurts. All of us get into that mindset and it's unfair - and unproductive.

Good Luck.

FR

that's okay isn't it lilacs?? that he didn't initiate sex with you? I hope you won't hold that against him. I think that would give him MAJOR bonus points...quite the gentleman in my book!


Yes it is!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I agree that it could be used as a "line" sometimes, but sometimes people use things like that to try to express themselves. I like Fishracer's advice, which is always good advice -> proceed with your heart and eyes open. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

The reason it seemed to me it could be a line is because it was only the third date. On the other hand, he didn't suggest we get naked.

But, back to the line thing. My profile has been hidden on Match since I started dating him. His is still up, and the few times I've viewed it since we first started dating, it's shown him active within 24 hours. I'm assuming he's not only dating more than just me, but still looking.

Tell you what. I've learned if you can't remember if a man wants kids or not, or if he's looking for a certain height for his date, you should just ask. Don't go to the profile.

My J still has his up too and still looks at it. And I wonder the same thing. He says he's just looking...curing the boredom but who really knows.

I'm thinking...if you are asking... that you took it as a line.
Therefore, my gut says it is.

"He told me I was nice to hold. He also said to me "I could get lost in you," and from his tone, I know he meant it in the nicest possible way."

I wouldn't be so quick to say this was a line, but for me, to hear this on the 3rd date would make me nervous.
That's me though, and my opinion. I'm not ready for someone to fall for me fast. I want slow! He may be a very open person and was being completely honest with you.

It seems like you are enjoying his company, so I say proceed as you are. Enjoy and by all means stop by and put your feelers out here for the gang to decipher.

By the way, Welcome!
Karona

I would say he was trying to give you a compliment but is moving to fast. Just be cautious and know that it takes a long time to build trust.

Oh, I doubt that his emotions are running that fast. After all the man is still looking around. My guess is it was lust. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And I'll take it all, lust included, as a compliment.

Thank you all for your responses and your welcome. I appreciate the feedback.