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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 87
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 87 |
Have you guys actually filled out the EN and LB questionaires? They will help GREATLY in pinpointing/exposing your weak points in your relationship. As well, it may give provide a hint to him that you seriously think something is amiss with your relationship, while still saving face with your husband relating to his stance on marriage counselling. If you've started the hugs and make-up process, ride with it, and show him you need more done yet before things get better.
One thing I have trouble with regarding the EN and LB tests. I really feel they are only truly effective if used in worst-case scenarios. People will tend to "minimize" their feelings in any situation but in the worst-case. Good luck.
End? No, the journey doesn't end here.
Gandalf; RotK
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015 |
needtotalk - Habits don't "die," they have to be stopped by willpower and replaced with something positive to fill the void. Without the replacement, the "doing something different" when faced with same temptations or stressors, and they'll revert to "habit" every time. It genereally takes a solid 30 days of DAILY change to the new behavior ingrain a new habit.
It's work, not wishing, that makes it happen.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 255
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 255 |
I learned something very interesting about him by having him do the EN ?aire, He could care less if I do housework. Yahoo!! I now know not to expect any praise or gratitude when I clean, now I clean because I want a tidy house. At least I won't be sad if he doesn't even recognize the fact that I cleaned, and I'm ok with that.
I'm still perplexed at how H&O is his #1!! You would think that someone who values that wouldn't LIE!!! Hmmmmmm.
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