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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts plan b or plan z (mother-in-law's plan)

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plan b or plan z (mother-in-law's plan) #15287 09/28/99 06:18 PM
Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 106 bellevue, wa, usa K kate31 OP Member
OP kate31 Member K Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 106 bellevue, wa, usa	Quick question...My mother-in law suggests that I need give my husband a chance to progress on with his affair. I should attempt to break in and start showing him that I have been changing myself. <BR>After a couple months on this message board, I feel this would be a mistake. His relationship with the OW is tight and in the romantic stage. I think that interference by myself would be construed as "catty" and manipulating. Although she does have a good point, that by ignoring him, does he think that I don't care. I have attempted to tell him of my desire to keep our marriage together, but he is so confused at this point that he can only see the OW in his future.

Re: plan b or plan z (mother-in-law's plan) #15288 09/28/99 07:33 PM
Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 27 Las Vegas Y yes_dup333 Member
yes_dup333 Member Y Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 27 Las Vegas	This is what my H did for me when I was deep into an affair. He backed off. He was sweet and kind, he never snooped into what I was doing, never tried to read my email, NOTHING. And he knew what I was up to the whole time. He never pressured me to love him back, but loved me, loved me, loved me. Unconditionally. It took a VERY long time, but little by little I came around. He was not my door mat. That would have turned me cold, but he was always thoughtful, and considerat, he never manipulated meto get his way. He was there for me. I didn't get dumped, I didn't end the affair because I got caught. I just woke up one day. And am so grateful that he is here, still. I don't know if this works for everyone. But it worked here. Good luck.

Re: plan b or plan z (mother-in-law's plan) #15289 09/28/99 09:35 PM
Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 106 bellevue, wa, usa K kate31 OP Member
OP kate31 Member K Joined: Sep 1999 Posts: 106 bellevue, wa, usa	I wish I were so nice and trusting as your hubby. I have so much anger built up, that I have to release before I'm able to get to that point.

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