well What I suspected came true! I found out on 11-5 our 22 year anniversary of being together by accedent in some emails! I thought I would die!! I waited untill the next morning and woke him up at 5:00am to confront him and he finaly confessed about it. Some girl he had met about 6 months ago and he felt a strong connection to her. I printed off the emails and they made me sick!! He does not know I have them~ I have been seeing a consuler almost every week and so had he and we go together next month. I told him that I forgave him because that is what God would want me to do but it hurts so bad and it is so hard not to obssess about it ect!!! I need your prayers and strength because right now I am just trying to make it day by day without going crazy! I really dont know hat he wants and if he even wants it to work out but I am trying so hard! Please give me any advice I can do I am so screwed up right now and I need to be strong for my DD. Please HELP~~~~~!!! I need it all right now!! My Consuler keeps telling me that I need to figure out what I woudl do it if he was not in my life ect...I am so lost and so sad and depressed I put myself back on prozac about 2 weeks ago but it has not kicked in . I need alot of advice right now just to be able to handle things and figure out what to do and what comes next. I never thought I would be in this situation or have to face this kind of thing but hre I am and totally useless and clueless PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE HELP ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????????????????/

Welcome to marriagebuilders. You might want to switch over to the general questions thread. There is more traffic there, and everyone has been through/going through the same thing you are.

The starting point is Plan A. Please read all about it. It is basically showing what a great wife you can be. I know, it doesn't seem fair, as he is the one who did you wrong. But that is the plan here.

Also you might read about meeting emotional needs. There is a questionnaire here about them. You both should be attempting to meet each others top needs.

It is completely miserable when you first find out, but things usually get much better. Luckily you are taking anti-D's and they should kick in during the next week or so. They really help.

Is he willing to have no contact with her ever again, and write a no contact letter? That is a must.

Hang in there, most waywards come back to the marriage.

Thanks I posted over there too! My H wants me off The meds because he says they make me like a zombie- right now I would rather not feel any pain. I cant even cry or grieve becasue it makes him mad from it! He said it was a symptom of his unhappiness and that I did not need to focus on that and need to work on other things like making myself happy ect!! It still is not right and he should have not done it and I want to let her h know so bad but I havent!!!!

I found out about my husband in the same way you did about the same time. It is horrible and feels like grieving a death. I wish I knew something to say to you, but there are no words that help. I am in a calmer place, because my husband is not still seeing this woman and hasn't since July. I believe him only because I can see the change in him since then for the better. He wants to be forgiven. If he didn't, I would feel much more desparate. I hope your meds help you and your husband comes back to a better place in his mind.

w39,

I found out about the affair my W was having in almost the same way. I printed off the emails, letters, etc so I could have the proof. She didn't know I had the letters either. Every time I looked at them though it was like a knife through the heart. All I wanted to do is put the past behind me, but every time I looked at them though, it brought it all back. So, what I did was I threw all the letters and everything else I printed out away. Sometimes I wish I could still keep them so I could cry some more, but for the most part I'm happy that I did throw them away because that means I could never be hurt by them again...hopefully. I hope this helps a little bit. Not much, but baby steps is the key. Take care.