Ok lastnight my wife ask me to move back in and help with the money and be a roomate. I was shocked. I have not really had a chance to plan A the way it should be. I had my plan B letter ready but never gave it to her and now this.

She said I would just have to accept the fact that she goes out on weekends. Right now she is not seeing anyone. The affair died 3 months ago and since then she has gone out with a few guys but never anything serious. I have not done anything with anyone but her.

So now what the ****** should I do. I could move back in, while saying it was to be roomates but plan Aing my butt off in hopes to save this marriage or It could destroy my heart again.

She is in the middle of a MLC big time. But reality has started to slap her a bit in the face, she has no money and cant afford to live where she is. She wants to go back to school but again she cant because she does not have the money or me to help her.

What do you guys think?

I believe that she wants you to help finance her dates.

Any other details? Are there children involved?

I have a 8 year old daughter, and she does not date. she goes out with her girl friends. Not that she has not done guys she has. The only thing I was thinking was to try to plan A for a while since I moved out when this first started 6 months ago and never knew about this place at all.

The pluses are, i get to see my daughter everyday, im in the house so no men are going to be around, and I get to try to save this marriage. And I get to be with my wife, even with all this crap we get along great.

- are, I could go insane lol. As she is in the middle of a MCL, does not know what she is doing 1/2 the time. Tho i think now that reality has for the first time in 6 months slaped her in the face. Her dreams of being a nurse have died and I think that has killed her.

If you want to save your marriage, this is not the way to do it. You should be in Plan B.

If you want a roommate, you would do better to get one that can pay their own way.

I completely agree with Believer. Don't move back in. Tell your wife that you're not interested in a roomate...you want your wife back. Tell her honestly how you would feel sitting there watching her go out all of the time...and tell her that you're not willing to help finance her living a lifestyle like this while she's still married to you.

And then drop the Plan B letter and move on. Include in the letter what you DO expect from her in order to consider allowing her to re-enter your life again.

I second that view.


You don't really believe this. Do you?

Forget the Plan A idea for now. Until she is willing to act as a wife you should not support her in anyway.

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But reality has started to slap her a bit in the face, she has no money and cant afford to live where she is. She wants to go back to school but again she cant because she does not have the money or me to help her.
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So, you are going to enable her NOT to face reality?

I am with Believer on this one - you could find a better roommate - one that does not take you for granted!

Yep...you should move back in...

have her leave and take on full custody of daughter....

see mom's that have their best interest of their children at heart...don't go out every weeekend with girlfriends and a smattering of relvovling men here and there....

I am very very serious of you meeting her on the field of being the responsible adult in your daughters life...

I would move back in a second...and let her go and date all she wants....

meaning she litterally leaves the house...

Plan a is a great tool specifically designed to navigate through the treacherous waters of a an affair and an OP....and I am not convinced that it is about plan aing destructive nebulous choices....

tell her
you're home she's out
you are seeking FULL custody

she can go and date anything that wiggles as long as she leave eight year old daughter out of her chaos and pursuit of "happiness"...

get a lawyer today
be the one grownup to that little girl...who deserves better...

ARK