This morning I asked if she would complete the Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires that I had given her this morning. She gave me this look that would have killed a horse. So I immediately said that I knew her answer already and left it alone. I pray that some of her distance is the result of my inability to pay for her to go home this weekend for her family's reunion. I wasn't able to cover the expesnse because of things that started when I was planning on staying in the Air Force and living on base for my whole career. Those things were centered around tax deductible interest and her lack of understanding of what I was attempting to do with our finances.<P>What really has me down is that the OM she is having an emotional affair with (she calls it a friendship, you don't call your friends nearly everyday several times a day particularly since she claims to have known love only with him) called me on 5 Aug to say that he was playing a trick on his W by putting in a message in his numeric pager. With her response to me this morning and the fact that she is not sleeping in the bed with me causes me to think that they are still talking nearly every day. This hurts tremendously. I feel like I am dying a thousand deaths per second. I haven't given up hope because God will answer my prayers in His time. <P>I can say that she is still wearig her wedding ring. This is a plus because after the last love bust I committed she had stop wearing it until about 3 weeks ago. Keep US in your prayers.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Rob, <P>I've been out for a while, so I'm catching up on a few posts. <P>For me, the emotional aspect of the affair is perhpas the most difficult part to overcome so, I know what you mean when you say you feel like you are dieing a thousand deaths. Like your W, my W would not complete the ENQ either. The primary reason was this; for her to identify what needs needs she wanted me to fill for her, she would then feel obligated to fill my needs - and she certainly wasn't in any mood to do that. So, part of my plan was to figure out what her needs were. Lots of hit and miss. Some of the misses were taken as lovebusters but for the most part, I was able to figure them out. <P>I suffered through many months of continued contact with her and the OM. Working to meet her needs while that contact was going on was very tough. But, you have to stand firm in your convictions to win your W back. My W's top need is conversation and that is how I was able to get back into her life. I became her friend again. The secondary need is affection. It took months of becoming a friend before she would allow me to touch her in any way. Now she gets lots of touch from me and she really loves it.<P>Keep trying Rob. I'm pulling for you. God does answer prayers in His time but that doesn't mean we sit on the sideline - ask Him to lead you in what you should do with your W.<P>SHA

Rob, I will keep you in my prayers. The Lord will answer your prayers.<P>We must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.<P>Acts 14:22<P>The sweetest joys in life are the fruits of sorrow. Human nature seems to need suffering to fit it for being a blessing to the world.<P>-E.W. Robertson<P>God Bless