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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 168
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 168 |
My wife and I are in the process of divorcing after 10 months of marriage. She said that she just couldn't be married. This was both our second marriage and we both have two kids from the previous marriages. We are on good terms and still talk. My question is whether I should get her a birthday present. I still love her and would have preferred we work things out but in the end that is not what she wants so I respect her decision. Also in the past, I would give her girls money to buy her a present or take them to get her something. Should I contact my stepdaughters to see if this something they would want or would this just be too weird for them?
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Me: 2nd Marriage, 2D
W: 2nd marriage, 2D
Married 10 months
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277 |
How old are the kids? How long were you together before marriage (i.e., what established practices did you two have for birthdays that were already in place, before marriage)?
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 168
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 168 |
My step daughters are 19 and 14. My wife and I were together almost three years before we married. Typically I would take the girls to get something for their mom for Birthdays and Christmas. One thought I had is I could just offer with no pressure to the girls and see what they say. I still am very torn on whether I should get her anything.
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Me: 2nd Marriage, 2D
W: 2nd marriage, 2D
Married 10 months
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 69
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 69 |
I'd say that's up to you. If you continue to have a relationship with her children, then it's appropriate if you want to - but I don't think it should be expected.
If you're trying to repair the marriage, I think it would be a kind gesture but if you don't feel it will be properly appreciated, then don't.
H2U
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,277 |
I had gotten the impression your stepdaughters were much younger, so it's good you stated their ages. I think it's up to you - as Honey said, it would be a kind gesture. But your stepdaughters are certainly old enough to do their own shopping (AND paying) for their mother's gift.
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