I am curious about something....

I understand that getting caught up in the moment with no intent for physical contact can lead to a lack of being prepared the first time...why then is it that on the future encounters you continue to use lack of protection?

My H had a vasectomy so the fear of pregnancy was not there but lets fact it...there is more nowadays to worry about. He being with a younger 23 yr old (he's 38) you would think that one of them would know better and be prepared.

can any WS shed some light on why common sense went out the door concerning protection.

It's the same selfish reasoning for having the affair, they are only thinking about themselves.

Common sense is seldom if ever used by infidels...IMHO...

My WH is 43 and his SF came from a 21 year old. The last time we had SF, the girl was 17. I don't think condoms are protection enough (especially if there is no vasectomy, like your case). I told H since he hasn't seen OG in a while, what is to keep her from showing up in a few months with a big ol' belly? He didn't have an answer.

Well - I hadn't planned on having sex with OM...and when it happened - I had no uterus - so I didn't think of anything else.

Also - in this FANTASY world - we really trust the OP - since they have been so revealing in their life...so they must be clean cause they are so honest!!! That sounds really messed up - but it's kinda how a WS thinks in the fog.

H didn't use protection with his OW either...his reason - does anyone think of it - but he had planned this weekend to meet up with her for a long time. He trusted she was a 40 year old single mom - gorgeous who he trusted would be on the pill cause she told him.

After he got out of the fog - he had that same panic I had after my fog - WOW - boy was I naive.

Thank goodness for both of us - so far nothing has shown up in test. One more HIV test for me...(every 6 months to be sure) and no pregnancy on her end.

I asked him though - you see I have had Herpes since I was 18 (before him) I dont get many outbreaks and it's just a part of my life. He has never had an outbreak - but has been exposed to this disease for 8 years now, and it could be very probably he has it. I told my OM I had it just before sex took place...wanted to be honest - he said no worries - his wife had it too...I asked H if he had told OW he might be infected....he said it never crossed his mind. I said - I wonder if some things didn't cross her mind to tell you? he understood.

Fog makes you think differently - all common sense goes out the window.

And some common sense goes out the window with you holding a condom in your hand. I can remember having one in my hand ready to use and before I could stop she was already on me. And by then you just don't think....hmmmm, let's stop what we are doing, take the time to tear open this package, and roll this thing down. There are a lot of factors including stupidity, which I'm good for. Hey, can I blame loss of blood to the head???? I always heard that was a good excuse.

It is absolutely ridiculous but the lack of protection is more about saying you have never done anything like this before.

I had been monogamous for 28 years before my A and I took it as truth that the OM had also been monogamous for 28 years.

My H was extremely angry about the unprotected SF. He didn't believe for a minute that the OM had been monogamous.

Jen

I have to admit I had a lot of naive trust in people with my first affairs. Then I started learning people don't always tell the truth. DUH..... You find that part out later when they confess the number of people they have been with.

It just does. Common sense just goes out the door.

It's as sure as the *fog* that rolls in with affairs.

Susan

But, believe it or not I USED them, and they were what got me in trouble ~ busted ~ because my H found them. I thought I hid those things good!

That may be another reason. People don't want to go buy them and then where are you going to keep them, not to mention explain them if you don't use them at home. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Susan

What kills me is that she bought him some condoms as a joke because the name of the condoms was what I nicknamed his...thingy. (gee i don't know what i can call it on this site) I will leave you all to ponder out the posibilites of the name <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> So they actually had some handy and didn't use it because the only thing they thought about was pregnancy and that wasn't a factor. She being 23 and having 6 partners...but hey she is clean she told him so. Ha how stupid the fog can be.

Yeah, OW is a nurse. You would think that would make her want to use protection, huh?

She was so truthful with him, too. She failed to mention that she and her H were swingers. No wonder she said her H wouldn't mind she was planning to screw my FWH, too.

They actively recruit partners for her H via the internet. I'm sure they use protection. Right. Makes me sick to think of it.

I had all the tests, so far negative, but how many times do you need to get tested for HIV? Is that the only one that you have to retest for?

so frustrating and scary