Some of you may remeber me from the Infedelity forums here.
but, she broke it to me monday, November 18th at exactly 10am... Over MSN messenger of all things. she informed me that i would be left by her that night when she gathered her things up, then would return this weekend for the remainder. since then our communication has been well and very civil.
Ive also learned that there Isnt another man/woman, but after 4 years of living with me, 2 years of being engaged and over 2 years of marriage - its really over. She wouldnt cheat on me, or ever lie. but she did come clean in saying:
"how do we know that were right for each other when weve only known each other?"
then soon followed:
"Brad, we now have different goals, values and priorities."
and she admitted that she was thinking of leaving me for 6 months (before/during/after the infedelity inccident). I just wasnt right for her i guess.
I figured that WE wouldve learned something by watching our parents get divorced, my uncles divorce, her grandfathers divorce... but i guess its a new bowl of wax each go around.
So now i have to say goodbye to everything ive ever known for the past 8 years. its really hard. i know i'll be okay, eventually. but it isnt looking good for me either, finacially speaking. Ive recently went outta bussiness with my home company leaving me with only my contracting job that only throws me $1000 bucks a month. What are my choices here? find a new job? well... for now i do have my grandparents basement to live in. its nice, warm, big, private & finished. shes letting me have most of the objects in the house, and now i must sell my "half" of the house to her, shall she decide to live here. which is unlikely. that was made clear. but its somewhat good for me since all of the bills/morgage/debts are in Her name. Bad for her.
and there were no signs of it comming either. and honesty is the game in these forums, and i mean it - no signs at all! its a total mind blower.
but i do have some money, a place to go and family to help me get there. and im very thankful for that.
but for some weird reason i keep on thinking that one day here shes going to walk through that door and come back to me. however, i know it wont happen. but it feels like it could - in my heart. i still love her.
but ive gathered myself together quite well now, im feeling a little better and Trying to picture what my new life is gonna look and feel like.
Perhaps she had a dream of being married one day, a couple kids, a house and a mini-van. but i think that she just wanted it so bad she didnt care to whom she'd spend it with.
Anyways guys, my moms here to help me sort and pack. i got alot of work to do.
-Brad
PS. Thanks for listening.
