Got some questions for the ladies and need some honest open answers.

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

That is all for now.... I will probably have more.

Keith

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

[color:"blue"] average looking guy that is very kind and considerate....but it's all about the chemistry...my guy has to be funny <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

[color:"blue"] Um, I want both! Romantic who shares household chores [/color]

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

[color:"blue"]If it's early on (date 1,2,3 etc) that's totally fine. I would feel he's being respectful and clearly waiting for a cue from me and letting things develop naturally [/color]

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

[color:"blue"]Not sure how to answer. Yes and no....men DO "sense" things, maybe not to the level women do, and for me, it's how they handle it once they do...ie he senses my mood may be off, so instead of avoiding it like the plague, ASK me what's wrong. Where woman go wrong is when we say "nothing" and expect him to KNOW what's wrong. I don't expect men to be able to read my mind. Learned that long ago...comes w/ maturity and experience. [/color]

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

definately the average looking guy who is very kind and considerate!!!

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

Sorry I want them both..romance and sharing the housework

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

Depends on which date it was...if it was late in the game and he still wasn't kissin...I'd be worried.

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

Yeah unfortunately I do...at least SOMETHINGS...

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

Average looking guy can be very attractive when he is kind and considerate. A good looking guy can be so unattractive to me.

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

I want my next man to be domesticated and romantic, and I won't settle. LOL

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

I prefer for a man to behave this way when we are firt dating. But after a while I would want him to try and kiss me, if he doesn't, that would be a red flag for me.

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

I like to be with a man who is observant so he can "sense" when something is going on, it just shows me that he cares and this is one of my EN.

I have to quote Faith1. I think she nailed it.

"Not needy/clingy. But, confident, comfortable with himself and gentle and receptive to the woman."

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

An avg. looking guy that was kind, considerate, loving, & tender would be good looking to me! I'd pick him.

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

I want laughter, romance, and a man that could/would make me a nice meal sometimes. A little help would be nice too!

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

I would like it!! After 4th date though, I would like him to try.

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

I don't think men can "sense" everything, but emotional needs are important to women.

Karona

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

[color:"purple"] average looking guy that is very kind and considerate [/color]

- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

[color:"purple"] hmmm... you may have to explain what you mean by "romantic". All the EN's are important, and Affection and SF would be fall into the "romantic" category, I believe. Domestic Support is lower on my list than Affection and SF.... they make higher Love Bank deposits..... sooooo... I guess if I had to choose either/or, I would choose ROMANCE. But if he's smart, he'd realize that housework ALSO makes Love Bank deposits, so he'd help with that too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

[color:"purple"]Are you thinking of a certain time frame? Does he NOT like kissing at all? OK, I'll take a stab anyway... on the first few dates (lets say 6)... he behaves the way you describe. I would feel like he either doesn't like kissing, or there's something bothering him about me (he's unsure his attraction towards me), or he's dating others, etc. In other words, I would think something's wrong with that. I like kissing, even though all the other attention is very nice as well. I'm working on taking things SLOWER, and starting more as friends, so this opinion could change. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

[color:"purple"]Ummmm.... yes, some things. If you know us well enough, and are paying attention, you should sense some things. When we are sad, mad, etc. (or someone else is) We know you are not as intuitive as women, but you should know a few things. And if we are having to explain everything to you, both of us feel like a parent/child thing instead of you taking responsibility for learning patterns, studying, and paying attention. [/color]

Got some questions for the ladies and need some honest open answers.

- Would you rather be with an average looking guy that is very kind and considerate or a good looking guy that isn't as kind and considerate?

Definitely an average guy. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if he is very kind and considerate, he will become very attractive! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


- Would you rather have a husband that does no housework at all but is romantic, or a husband that shares household chores and is not as romantic?

I want someone who is willing to help out, but romance is very important so I am willing to carry a bit more of the work load if it means romance.

- If you were dating a guy, and he was very, very polite, considerate, and gave you his full attention, but he did not try to kiss you, how would you feel?

Depends on how long we date and remain kissless. I love kissing so it would bother me after a couple of dates. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

- Do women really believe that men should "sense" things?

I don't think we really believe this, but I know we are guilty of letting it happen.

Hope that helps a bit. You say you are from WI, where?

Take care and God bless!

K

I hate these kind of discussions, because they always make me feel like I must belong to a different species. Objective analysis says:

1. I'm reasonably good-looking (if a bit on the scrawny side)
2. I'm kind and considerate
3. I laugh and joke and smile, and I'm told that I'm funny
4. I'm empathetic and fairly perceptive
5. I do housework, and I can cook
6. I am a sensitive romantic and not afraid to show it
7. I am secure in who I am and emotionally strong, in the sense that I am in touch with my feelings but do not allow those feelings to master me
8. I'm smart and talented, with a good job in a stable career

I am valued by my female friends for my openness, my honesty, my willingness to be of service without attaching strings, and my ability to provide a male perspective. In short, I am, by every standard I can find, exactly what women say they are looking for. (Well, except that I'm not as tall as many of them claim to prefer. But I'm still taller than the vast majority of women, even in heels. Er, I mean with them in heels, not me.)

And yet...

As I have become daring enough to broach the subject with some of my female friends, I have discovered that not only do they feel no chemistry, but it never even occurred to them to think of me as a potential romantic partner. I have even tried asking what's missing, and I have not gotten any meaningful answer.

I can only assume that there is some factor in play which is completely beyond my apprehension.

Heck, I don't know how many women have told me that if I did such-and-such, I could have any woman I wanted. And yet, as far as I can tell, I do such-and-such, and it makes not a particle of difference.

It's not even a matter of neediness or desperation, because I gave up on the idea of dating or otherwise trying to find a new partner months ago, in favor of investing my time and energies into other pursuits.

All I can figure is that gnomes and humans just do not mix.

gdp,
I can't remember if we've asked you before... have you looked for other gnomes?

BHINWI,
I hope you'll give us some feedback: OK's, agreements, disagreements, grunts, burps, or further questions!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I don't think it's as simple as that. I'm like the ugly duckling. Everyone else could see that the ugly duckling was different, but until he encountered other swans he was not equipped to see this for himself. All he had ever known were other ducklings; ergo, he too was a duckling.

I think I would be more inclined to assume that I simply hadn't met the "right" woman yet - that I just never ran into any other gnomes - if it weren't for my ever-more-unshakable convinction that I have met someone who is right for me (and me for her), and "there's just no spark." Heck, if even someone that well matched can't feel anything for me, then it's hard for me to believe that anyone could.

And I don't know of anywhere I could go to have a better chance of meeting gnomes than where I already am.

I feel like I signed up for the race, did all the right training, showed up at the track at the right time on the right day, and never managed to find the starting line.

This is sorta what I was saying.... I think <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> .... hmmmm.... I bet many of us feel just like you do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Gotta run...

hugs,
Faith1

Gnome - How long have you been looking? How many women have you dated? Are you looking in your general age group or chasing after women 20 years younger?

37 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
making a fool of himself with some 22 year
old waitress."

The yellow pants killed me! *snort*

Gnome, IMHO you are suffering from a classic case of NiceGuyism. You must cure yourself, nobody will do it for you.

I recommend you read the book "No More Christian Nice Guy" even if you are NOT a Christian.

Women don't want a man who is perfect. They don't want a man who is everything they SAY they want. They want a man who is a bit of a challenge. Who has an edge to him that they will cut themselves on if they push to hard.

Another recommendation since you seem to have nothing to lose having given up dating. Try to ge a Bad Boy. Really! My guess is that you are such a Nice Guy that your idea of a Bad Boy is actually a more balanced male. A male who the women will know cannot be taken for granted and will do what he wants anyway. It'll drive then nuts, with pleasure.

Gnome


You have just described yourself as the "friend" guy.

I have hear women describe the friend guy as "harmless" Which I found very interesting

Chemistry = Excitement
Excitement = an element of precieved danger or the unknown.

Think of things that most people would find exciting.

Your "friend" guy statis comes from you being very predictable and guarded. IMO

Become less predictable and guarded and see what happens.

Faith1 (and everyone else)...

Thanks for the responses....:) I was a little suprised that a husband that does housework wasn't rated higher because I know so many men that don't raise a finger around the house!!! (But many of us do.)

Romance is definately important... I will post another thread on a related topic.

Stillreeling - I live about 20 miles south of Madison.

Keith

I get nervous when men think they need to become a "Bad Boy" in order to get a babe. I equate that with women who turn into sluts, thinking that's the way to get a man.

However, the advice leaning in the direction of adding some sort of "excitement", "unpredictibility", and "challenge" to the equation seems about right!

Another thought. In looking at "available men", and considering who is romantic material or friend material, some men put out a vibe that says "I'm looking - I'm available". It might be flirty, or sometimes complimentary. They may talk about their dates, or what their looking for. They may even be striving to learn about women, what makes them tick, and act interested in getting to know them. "Non-romantic material" men have a vibe that says "I'm comfortable in my life - alone - don't invade my space - I really don't want anyone in it". They act more like a friend to women - perhaps even treating them just like the guys.

I dunno. Just thinkin.... Women do this too, I suppose. With the vibe thing, don't they? Like "don't invade my space - I'm not interested".... vs "I'm open and receptive to anything you have to offer, and I want to get to know you better" vibes.....