I don't know why this happens to me. I think I am doing just fine and then I get smacked in the face with my husband's past indiscretions. The woman he had an affair with lives less than two miles from us. It just so happened that this morning I was driving on my way to work and there she was pulling out of a gas station and heading home. I slowed down to see if it was really her (dumby still has personalized plates) and she realized it was me I think. She slowed down to about 35mph in a 55mph zone so she would not catch up with me. I don't know why, but I just started balling in my car. So hard I almost couldn't drive. To think that my husband almost gave up on everything to be with something as homely as her still kills me. When I see her (about once every 2 months) it brings back a flood of memories. It doesn't help that one of my friends still works at the same place my husband met this woman. I talked to her for almost 2 hours tonight about another couple we know where the husband is cheating on his pregnant wife. Everyone (including this friend) knew about the affair and did not tell me. Now I feel like I need to tell my other friend that her husband is cheating on her, but when? I can't take a chance on her losing the baby (due is 6 weeks). After the baby's born, when do I tell her then? I guess I'm just kind of rambling tonight. Needed to vent. I would like to know some opinions on the friend story. I really feel like, because of my situation, that I have an obligation to tell her. What do I do?

Situations like this are tough because here's what's gonna happen... I can almost guarantee it...<P>You're just trying to help. The news will be taken with speculation, at best. If the H lies, his W may believe him and hate you. If she doesn't believe him, her life is ruined, and she may or may not want to face you again. If he comes clean, she may or may not appreciate what you told her. He may leave her for the OW. He may stay and resent her, and you. She may take his side and they both hate you.<P>Big mess... beleive me, I've been there... I say don't get involved until she needs a shoulder to cry on... THEN be there. The only way I can see it working is if you can pull it off without them knowing that you told... maybe an annoymous letter.<P>Good luck!<P>------------------<BR>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<BR>

Our situations seem a lot alike, but we are all alike here, aren't we?<P>I know what you mean about seeing the OW. My H had an affair w/ a co-worker (ended Jan 2 '99 ) And I ALMOST saw her for the first time since all this a few weeks ago. Get this, the OW lives in the exact complex of my best friend! Same building and all! ANyway, I was there and saw her car and got all freaked out. My heart was racing and I was just dying! Even to be in close proximity is unbearable.<P>We have been in serious recovery for 7 solid months now and it is getting much easier. Try to adhear to the MB principals you read here. It is good stuff. Continue to post, you'll get good stuff!<P>------------------<BR>You will be stronger because of this.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Sally (edited September 28, 1999).]

Thank you for replying Sally. You do sound a whole lot like me. I'll never forget the first time I saw her on the road. Talk about major road rage. I was right behind her and thinking about what had happened one night in the bed of that truck she was driving (use your imagination). It took all the power and strength I had to keep from ramming my car into the rear end of her truck. It gets better though. I did not think about ramming her today, just giving her my lovely hand signal. HA HA!