Been married for over 9 years but been together for about 14 years. Got a little boy 2 years old.


To be honest, things have been going downhill a bit since he was born. Don't know if its the extra stress, lack of sleep or what...


Generally, I look after all the finances in the house and although we're not flush (my wife works part-time now) we're OK. Trouble is I hate to see money wasted and my can sometimes let her spending get away from her. Not excessively really but she does overdue things a little
sometimes.


Anyway, yesterday, we went shopping for Xmas decorations. My wife loves Xmas and does go a bit OTT and I'm usualy trying to kerb the spending a little.


We went and ended up arguing because she said I wasnt helping look after our little boy in the shop, I answered her back nastily etc.
Also, we argued about the amount of money she wanted to spend.


Anyway, this was lunchtime, so I went back to work for the PM. Came home and thought she'd have calmed down.


She was still very angry and things went from bad to worse. She accused me of trying to control her, never helping her with childcare and said she'd be better off without me. This is an argument we've had before many times as well.


Anyway, she said she wanted me to get out so I thought it best to leave for things to calm down. Stayed the night at a relatives.


Back in work this morning but will see her later (shes working so I'm childcare). What do I do?
I realise that no amount of money is worth losing her, and I'd do anything for her.


How can I sort things out? Shes just going to think its just another apology from me...

First, welcome to MB! You have found a great place to get some marriage helping information.

Have you read the information on the main part of the site?

If you really want to change (I only say you because you are the only person you can change) print of the Love Busters questionnaires and stop Love Busting! This means no angry outbursts, no judgements, no demands. Read through what LBs are and how to avoid them. This will help you stop draining her love for you.

Then print off the EN questionnaires (link can be found along the top of the screen) and tell her that you want to talk about making things better. Once you stop love busting and start meeting her emotional needs, it should only be a matter of time before she comes around and responds the same way.

Also, your post mentions that you replied nastily. It is important to learn to negotiate in a safe environment. I'll see if I can find a link to the article about this.

One last thing - there is more traffic on the Emotional Needs part of the discussion board. You might get more responses there.

Cat