Last year at this time I was officially divorced and because of that I couldn't get into the holiday spirit. I didn't decorate the house and I just wanted the season to pass.

Last weekend I brought my parents to a broadway christmas show and decorated my house and tree while listening to christmas music. Half of my ornaments were missing but it still came out nice. I emailed my Ex-wife last week and it was very pleasant. She mentioned how christmas music makes her think of me and that she recently told a friend how she doesn't even remember the bad times anymore. I've been thinking of her to lately and I thought how it might be a good idea to give it another chance since we both were unattached. This was her response:

I'm a different person now and so much has happened. Then she went on to slam me about things that I did during our marriage. So in light of Christmas and how much I've changed this past year, I've decided to state what I think about her in this forum.

You ever meet one of those people whose highlight of their life was highschool?--that's my ex-wife. Her idea of intimacy was socializing with a group of people with that same depth of character, not to mention the fact that they all like to drink heavily. That's what cool people do. You ask anyone of them what their interests are and they'd tell you the same thing: drinking and socializing with some occasional drug use in between; prescription and otherwise. God forbid they actually find something new, active and interesting to do and I'm not talking about going to a new bar. The most pathetic thing I ever heard was that she actually considered getting back together with her highschool sweetheart who was a bad seed but definately cool in that narrow sense. I ask myself why I would want her back and I keep coming up with well, maybe she's changed and we have so much history together. Not a good enough reason, I guess.

It's not possible for us to be happy together but it has nothing to do with my lack of prior dating experience or how I wanted to pick out the eggs in the supermarket and more to do with how little she has to offer in a world that is so much grander than she could ever imagine.

OK, you vented. Now tell us about your Christmas Spirit?
What are you thankful for this year? How will you improve your life and the lives of others this holiday season?

[color:"blue"]Coughlin,

So nice that you've managed to pull yourself up out of the dumps.

Your story of your wife provoked some thoughts. I'm curious how old you are - I'll go check the "how old are you thread" and see if you answered.

I've noticed that as people marry and have children they tend to fall out of the party crowd. Of course the exception being the kind of block partying that I've seen some of my neighbors doing with the children present. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It concerns me sometimes the amount of partying that BF has done in the past and his need to be surrounded by people.

Welcome back to Christmas - don't let her bah humbug you.

V.[/color]

I'm 34 and I've just tried to remember what I used to feel like around Christmas before her. I've decorated my office and play Christmas music all day at work. I plan on taking a trip out to see a special girl who got me through some hard times and could use some good company right now. I've connected with some old, true friends and although I haven't gone so far as to send out Christmas cards to people with me and my cat, I have thought about it.

Be thankful for all you have.
And for many of us, having good friends through the difficult times is a great blessing.

"having good friends through the difficult times is a great blessing"

More truer words could never be spoken.

Don't want to high jack Coughlin's thread, but I have a great Christmas story and want to share with you all.

I left EX in August, I only took several of my personal items. We had no separation of agreement so I had no alimony or child support check for the first several months. Christmas looked grim. I had no idea where I would get money for Christmas. How would I explain to my 4 young kids?

About a week before Christmas my attorney told me to stop by the office and pick up the child support check. My spirit was lifted, I felt that God had truly answered my prayers. When I drove home that night, I pulled into my driveway and noticed Christmas decorations on the house and lights on the bushes. I thought I was at the wrong house. I backed out of the drive way and counted,....no, this was my house......I sat there confused. Then I went into the house, on my porch there were 6 ornaments, each with our names on it.....and a box of fruit and goodies for the kids. I bawled like a baby. It was the most touching thing I've experienced during this blessed season.

I called my 3 closest friends to tell them about it and they all denied being responsible for it. But a month later I ran into a neighbor at the grocery store and she told me about the great job the 3 ladies did decorating my house. My hunch was confirmed......my friends are very special to me and I am truly blessed to have them.

Okay, I'm crying with you.

There are Angels in this world, and you have some around you.

Thank you for sharing!

Karona