I am caught in a love triangle and really hope this group can help me find the way to help both of my friends.

I have a friend whom I like very much (like a sister) and enjoy spending time with her and her family (husband and daughter). We have known each other for 5 years. We live close by and spent many holidays and vacation together. She and her husband are high school sweethearts and have been married for more than 15 years. My girlfriend’s husband has a male friend (they went to college together) who is very close to their family and at some point even rented a room from them. Not long after I met my friend and her family, she told me that she is in love with this guy and that they had sexual relationship behind her husband’s back but that now they are just friends. I always noticed that they behaved around each other more than friends.

This continued for more than a year. Then, this guy went to visit my other friends from a different town and my friends introduced him to a girl. They hit it off and started dating (mostly over the phone but he visited her couple of times). When my friends (who introduced them) asked me “what kind of guy he was”, I didn’t tell them what I knew about his previous relationship with my friend. I thought it was all over and I didn’t want to get I the middle. This guy and the girl got married.

Soon after the wedding, my friend started telling me how much she misses him and that he got married only because she said she would not leave her husband and will not marry him but that she loves him and would like to continue seeing him. She did continue staying in touch with this guy and I know that they have slept together after the wedding.

To make things worst, the guy’s wife really liked me (and I liked her) and started calling me and telling me about the problems in her marriage. I criticized my friend for breaking their marriage because she continues seeing this guy but it was no use.
So it continued for a year or so and was going like a roller coaster (hot/cold/and hot again). When it was cold on one end, the other end got better (I new this from the guy’s wife who kept calling me). I never told her what I knew. I always thought it will die out and get on track somehow. I also thought that she would notice that something is going on btw her husband and my friend and will question her husband about it. She and her husband were also moving to a new town (not far though) and I thought it would really help the situation. But it des not. The wife is depressed and confused. Her husband still alienates her. And even though my friend does not see him one-on-one but they talk on the phone all the time and my friend has control over this guy.

I feel like I am in the soap opera. I feel VERY bad for the wife and I feel bad for my friend as well. She is a very nice person (otherwise) ; just very confused and does not know what she wants. How can I help both of them?

Or should I stay away and nor get involved? I don’t want to loose my friend but I don’t like what she is doing to this couple. Please help.
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I am very new to this forum, but as a wife who is 99.9% sure her husband is cheating, I would like to give you my opinion on this. Take it for what it is worth. For the time I began to know my husband was having an affair I knew in my heart that there was someone other than the ow who knew. I have prayed so hard that God would convict whoever this person was to tell me the truth. Of course I am still waiting at this point but I know it will be revealed. I have promised myself that if I ever know someone is cheating I would find a way to reveal it to the cheated on spouse. Until this affair is out in the open things will not get better. Time does not help when truth does not exist. Only bringing this affair in the light will help things to finally get on the road to recovery.

I also believe God puts us in the lives of our friends for times like these. I think it is important to do this out of love rather than judgemental attitude. Your friends all of them need help. Allowing them to stay in this without getting this in the light helps noone. I even had this thought concerning my own marriage, just to see if if might just pass and get better. Then I realized I might be able to eventually get over it but for him to hide this sin in his life would be horrible for him. I now want to find out the truth for his sake as much or more than mine.