In my sitch the OW has been divorced for 15 years, 3 daughters. Just curious what you would make of this. A friend of mine (who doesn't know her) swears she's a predator. My WH must look like a knight in shining armor to her. From what I've learned here, I assume he must have told her about "problems" in our marriage and she eagerly listened and directed him. (Yes, you deserve so much more. Yes, she doesn't appreciate you, etc. etc.) She is an alchohol and drug counselor for a prison program. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Held his hand right through the divorce.

Boy was I hurt when I found the cell phone bills - DDay. I had no idea he was that unhappy, or unhappy with me - thought it was his job. I sobbed to him, you should have been talking to me, you should have been talking to me all those times. He said "It's not like that. I wouldn't do that to you." What do you call walking out on me and DS10, filing for divorce, and moving in with OW?


I sort of feel like she's being absolved of some of the OP responsibility since she didn't leave a spouse, etc. Any thoughts?

No, she still was an intruder on YOUR M. I actually hold the my H's OW to a higher stander because she IS D'd twice and her kids know the pain of a broken family. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Good point! I agree. Her 18 yr old daughter is pregnant.

I agree with FF as well. The OW in my case is seperated for 6 yrs and has a DD (13) ... She knows what it feels like to break up a family. So I hold her at an even higher standard to since she has been there.

Well, just putting in my thoughts...about OWs.

In my case, OW was a BS over 25 yrs ago...back when her own children were very small.....

WS once told me that OW never would have imagined being the OP and doing that to another woman.... on top of it, she's an elementary teacher, must also see everyday what Separation does to kids.... but I guess she was wrong! SELFISH SELFISH

WS must feel soooo special with OW prepared to go against everything she believed in.....for HIM! YUKKKK! How sad.

Right now, OW's grown daughter wants nothing to do with mom's lover. Probably reliving all the hurt when dad this to their mom.... now mom is doing it to somebody else.... apparently OW's family is totally divided on this issue...(My source about this is OWH)

I'll join in too with my experience:

The homewrecker(HW) was a single, never married,childless 29 year old woman living with her parents who were also the product of adultery.I believe the mother cheated on the father and was married to the OM.Of course,if I am to believe anything my WH said,they also had been happily married for 50 years?! Ummm,the timeline sounds a bit off unless the homewreckers parents( mother and step dad-OM) were elderly.Who knows, maybe they were.

According to my WH,the HW had previously dated some guy who cheated on her too.So she knows what it is like to be cheated on.I think not having been married with kids made it all the more easy to move in on my WH(and vice versa),no other worries or responsibilities to be bogged down with.Available at all hours, anytime,anywhere. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I can sympathize with your shock shattered.I never knew my WH was unhappy either until the dreadful day when he told me, " I'm not a happily married man". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> That and the $700 cell phone bills each month were all part of the sickening mightmare.Married or not,an OW is still an OW(homewrecking trash).

Glad to be past that for sure.

O

Well in the exOMW's case - me, her OW, was a married woman with two small children....I wasn't thinking of what I was doing to her family or mine - I was thinking about what felt good to me. One month post d-day when H and I called her together to tell her, I apologized for all I had done to her (as she was a friend)...

OM (her husband) was a married man with two small children, and 4 affairs under his belt before me, 2 known to his wife, now 4 known to his wife, perhaps 5, no clue - been NC for a year - but heard the other day that their marriage has fallen apart as she has now had an affair...

In my H's case, his OW was a single, divorced 40 year old mom of 3. She had no clue he was still living with me when they met, and he shortly moved out after that. She to this day is probably still under the belief that he had been seperated for 2 months previous to him meeting her as that is what he told her. She was cautious as he was newly seperated (I read most of their emails and MSN history)and he chased her hard. They decided 6-8 weeks into the relationship they weren't as compatable as they thought, and he then mentioned he was talking to his wife again, and perhaps looking at a reconciliation, so please NC...we had really only been seperated for 3 weeks at this time...so since there has been NC, I am sure to this day she is none the wiser...so i can't get mad at her....she didnt know.