Good for you...

V

Well, the "big" weekend is this coming weekend (anniversary), our first "overnight" alone, in a hotel....

This past weekend I spent just about the entire time with my FWW and kids......and she keep coming to me more and more with passionate kisses and hugs......and her SMILE!!! She is depositing boatloads of Love Bank deposits!! And I seem to be also!! We laid out in the sun next to our pool, and held hands....she's the one who initiated it....and we held hand for 20 minutes.....then we "flipped over" and she immediately grabbed my other hand with her other hand!!!!

We went to a birthday party together with the kids...had a blast! And we got on the internet together to look for homes closer to where we work.

We are doing very well....and I believe this weekend's getaway (only for 1 night) will be the jackpot of all Love Bank deposits on both sides!!
MWIL

At this rate the love bank for you and your FWW will be overflowing. Maybe you can bottle it and save some for your for first recovery arguement <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Seeing the look of love in your FWW's eyes and smile must be a great feeling. It certainly is more condusive to meeting each others ENs.

Sounds like you and your FWW are entering the intimacy stage of a relationship as Dr. Harley writes about.

Has there been any discussions about moving back in or will you both move in together when you puchase a new home?

R U actually going to Atlantic City????

Don't forget to wear the new "Seduce your wife" cologne you bought a few months ago.

BTW, Techie is trying to use your story as an example of why he doesn't need to expose (nor snoop). If you have the time could you post to him and disabuse him of that notion. He thinks it achieved absolutely nothing for you based upon your posts at that time. Even if you are not aware of what it did to her yet, I bet you can still indicate you don't regret doing it and taking charge of your life. Ya know...the not living in fear thing.

Mr. Wondering

Will do Mr. W... Exposure was the first wound inflicted on the A. I'll let him know!

Update:

FWW will be moving home in a couple weeks!! She is my W again!! Her actions are ones that any BS's from this board would want to have from a WS or FWS.

We are deep into the intamicy stage...connections and discussions that we had never had before....

Tonight, we are celebrating our 8 yr. anniversary. (It was actually yesterday)...and I am taking her out to the best hotel with the best room!!! She has no idea what we are doing, but is "SO EXCITED". We have spent the last two weeks of evenings together. And she is always calling me...I listen to her....she called me her "hero" last night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I got a card from her yesterday...it was a well thought out search for a card that applied to our sitch....the end said something like "Our love is worth it"...."You are worth it"
She signed it "I'm in love with you, George".....

I believe so much in the MB pricipals!! Anyone new here, please read all that you can...and practice the advice...not that all M's can be saved....but with these principals....you give it the best chance!!! Believe in yourself...and ALWAYS look to improve your relationship with others!!!

MWIL

. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Awesome!

congrats well done!!!!!

I'm pleased to say that our evening out was incredible....and yes, after nearly 11 months....SF. Nothing how I dreamed it would be: the emotion, her crying...tears of happiness, remorsefulness, and I held her all night long!!! We had a very nice evening before hand and she was nicely surprised.

It was so natural and spontaneous....even though I both think we knew inside we would that night.

I will continue to pray for each and every soul out there who has to traverse this jouney....that takes us so close to satan.

MWIL

You got sf???

High Five Dog

Get some sleep now
Keep working out and taking care of yourself
Foggy thinking is still likely from time to time
monitor YOUR stress levels and eating

and

it's impossible to truly replicate a passionate secret love affair in marriage but it's sure fun trying

....enjoy

Mr. Wondering

Your story just keeps on getting better my friend. I'm so happy that you and your FWW have become intimate again and seem to be headed for a wonderful reconciliation. I agree with Mr.W that you should expect some foginess from your FWW once in a while, but I'm sure you will handle it just like you have in the past...with success.

Enjoy this my friend...you've done well.

HTW

My FWW is mine!! We are now, I believe, deeper into the intimicy stage than we have ever been.

I base this on lots of things, but this email exchange characterizes it the best:

Me: "I'm taking Wed off too.....maybe we can all go to your sister's house,....really butter 'em up for when it's time for us to move!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />"

FWW: "Sounds good. Not sure what else we would want to do in that 90 degree weather." <her sis has central air>

Me: "Well, I was thinking that if you and <her sister> would like, I'd watch the 4 kids for a few hours and the two of you could go have some "sister" time. Sound good????

FWW: "RU serious? Well, we are both broke. Sounds wonderful, but what would we do??? I can't believe you would offer that. Thats sounds so nice, but really, I am not sure what we would do. Maybe I can take you up on that another time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Thank you so much for offering."

Me: "Go get your pedicure!!<I got her a gift certificate for a pedicure for our anniversary last week> Split it with your sister........each person gets one foot done!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />"

FWW: "ur funny. It sounds nice for us to do something. But this is not good timing for either of us financially. But thanks so much again, <her sister's husband> would never do that!!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!! I am actually afraid to leave my kids there when he is home. Not really, but I know his patience is limited."

Me: "You certainly can have a raincheck on that!! I know that you and your sister haven't had a chance to do things "by yourselves" in a very long time!!!! I guess I just have a kid mentality.....I would actually enjoy being "goofy" around them!! <her sis's husband>?????......Not so much."

FWW: "Well, I am so glad that you actually find an appreciation for that. There is a lot that I missed and appreciated about you, too, you know."

Me: "I can't even begin to tell you how well I believe this is going,.....as far as the communication part of it. I truly enjoy listening to you, and just being around you. I'm proud to be your husband."

FWW: "Proud? I am proud that I chose such a good person to spend the rest of my life with."

Then I sent her the lyrics to our first dance song at our wedding:

Savage Garden:

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living. A deeper meaning. Yeah..

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
I wanna bathe with you in the sea.
I wanna lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down over me.

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of..
The highest powers. In lonely hours. The tears devour you..

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
I wanna bathe with you in the sea.
I wanna lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down over me...

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes 'cause it's standing right before you.
All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
I wanna bathe with you in the sea.
I wanna lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down over me...

I wanna stand with you on a mountain,
I wanna bathe with you in the sea.
I wanna live like this forever,
Until the sky falls down over me...


Then she emails me:

FWW: "I can't believe we could make it through this. I feel so lucky."

Me: "And I feel blessed to not only have another chance at making you happy, but to discover a better person in both of us."

FWW: "Me too. I love you."

I can't believe how this is all going. I really hope folks here can gain just a little knowledge about how affairs work, and how the path the BS follows is so crucial to the best possible chance at recovery. I stil...remain, STILL.
MWIL

aahh! Gimme a tissue! I'm so happy for you both! Keep up the3 good work and keep us posted. I LOVE good news. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

MWIL, what were some early signs that your FWW was drawing closer to you. I remember the time she offered to bring over a loaf of bread only a few days post Plan B, but were there others?

Did you find that once you were seperated and all the nasty details were finzlized that you and your FWW lowered your defences towards each other?

I'm so happy for you brother. You deserve this.

It must be fun now so do you have any upcoming plans with your FWW besides her moving back in?

HTW

We are going to a Journey/Def Leppard concert in Sept., we are going to the Adirondacks in early Oct. In the near term, we are going out with a couple, her girlfriend and her new boyfriend, this Fri. All the while we are makning and spending time for US, and the same with our children.

She called to tell me that OM pretended he was a client today, to get through the call screener to her. She hung up the phone. She showed me another letter she wants to send him. It says, "if you don't get it already, leave me and my family alone!" I approved of it and she let me mail it!!!!!!

I told her that if he continues to try and make contact that we call the police....she agreed, then apologized for putting our family in this mess!

But all is well! I still have my guard up, but this A is for all intents and purposes (along with much if any withdraw) over.

As far as when things turned around.....I would say that it was when I truly didn't care if she would come back or not....it wasn't a long time..(3 weeks) but you naturally show that you'd be fine with or without her.....but it also, in my sitch, was beneficial that the OM was the worst on these boards....maybe ever!!!

MWIL

This can be very difficult to obtain.....because I know that for me, I really did not care....in fact I lived my life as I wanted and was happier...and appeared to be happy...as MWIL did....it has to be real...you can't fake it....when you really do not care...its obvious....and one of two things will happen....

you move on...without the WS...sure there is regret but the choice is theirs. They may find you more attractive now...but you may have changed your mind..or the "door may be open" (as happened in my case).

or you have done exactly what the WS wanted...you moved on..and you do move on...

The signs are sometimes missed...especially for somene like you Hope...you have lived on POW rations for so long....you're used to starving....which is when you think the smallest gesture is huge....

Good for you G....I'm glad things are working out for you...I really am...

Update:

My FWW surprised me last night!! We were outside, by ourselves, kids were inside watching a movie, when she pulls out her engagement rings and wedding band....along with mine!!! She has not wore her rings since just before X-mas, and I took mine off when she left.

She must have retrieved my ring from my dresser...and she proceeded to start crying, and gave me her rings. She then grabbed my hand and put my band on.....while reciting our wedding vows....looking at me straight in the eye the entire time! I stood strong, smiling, and then put her rings on her finger...and said "May God always grace us as he has tonight....I feel our hearts touching like never before, and will honor and cherish you for eternity" "I love you Jennifer."

We told the children that we will all be living in our house again. There reaction was priceless! DD6 said, "I knew you guys would get back together." And my DS4 said "You mean Mommy's coming home??" DD6 responded with a "Yes, DS4, now stop bothering them!!"

We had a "family" hug and kiss!!!

Can anyone see anything that may raise any red flags?? FWW seems to be moving into the intimacy phase so comfortably and rather quickly!! SF has been frequent and SUPER intense and emotional!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for comments!
MWIL

MWIL, Your situation is coming together perfectly and you are certainly deep into the intimacy stage. The only issue I possibly see arising in the future if you start to experience anger and some resentment for what your FWW did.

I have not been through this so maybe someone can provide some insight here. Have you come to terms with her A and your anger or is it being supressed with the current reconciliation?

I hope you and your FWW stay in this stage for good but Dr. Harley also states that the intimacy stage is only productive when we apply POJA.

I love your story and strength!

HTW

MWIL...my thoughts mirror HTW's.

You're at an awesome stage. I recall it fondly. The anger and resentment that reared its ugly head surprised me. And although it doesn't happen often to me it still does occasionally rear its ugly head....in my relationship. Triggers usually do it...

We're all different. You have done well my friend. I wish you nothing but the best....