Since all of you gave me such good advice on the last set of questions, I have to ask more (of the shallow nature) ....

- I am 44 years old (not a spring chicken). I have always been very physically fit and have exercised all my life. When my X started "doing her thing", I really started exercising - especially in the weight room (big stress reliever!!!). Over the last 18 months I have gotten much bigger and people notice it all the time. My question for the ladies is... If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off? (I am not Arnold, just much bigger than I used to be.)

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

You are all a great help!!!

Gosh, based on your 1st 2 questions, you sound like my last BF! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'll answer your questions, as I'm sure some of the others will too. However, YOU have to be the best YOU that you can. Also... please be sure read these other threads on here, even if they don't look interesting from the titles. You'll see ALL KINDS of things in them about "what women want" from the different conversations and issues being discussed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off?

[color:"purple"]Personally, I'm not turned off, I find it attractive. It's not something I consciously look for as a choice, but it's not a turn-off. [/color]

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

[color:"purple"]I like goutee's or no facial hair. [/color]

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

[color:"purple"]Anything not sloppy. [/color]

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

[color:"purple"]Sorry - I don't know colognes. I just know when you smell good! I guess I should educate myself and learn some of them! [/color]

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

[color:"purple"]hmmmm... besides pay attention to me and make me feel special???? ummmm.... surprise me! Be creative to show that you put some thought into it. I like initiative, so plan the date, but be flexible in case I don't like something. [/color]

- I am 44 years old (not a spring chicken). I have always been very physically fit and have exercised all my life. When my X started "doing her thing", I really started exercising - especially in the weight room (big stress reliever!!!). Over the last 18 months I have gotten much bigger and people notice it all the time. My question for the ladies is... If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off? (I am not Arnold, just much bigger than I used to be.)

First thing that usually pops into my head is "he's too body conscience for me"

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

Yes! goatees are in; full beards are out.

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

Jeans and a Sweater are good!

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

Drakkar has always been my favorite on a guy

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

open doors

- I am 44 years old (not a spring chicken). I have always been very physically fit and have exercised all my life...............

I think it's definitely attractive for men and women to take care of themselves. I understand your reason for working out more, it's a time filler, and great for stress relief. My opinion is, there can be a fine line with working out and too much. My x worked out daily. Nothing was to interupt his workout. At times I resented his work out because it took away from family time. So, I guess my answer is, not to excess, and never to become conceited with it.

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

Hair or lack of, is a non issue for me. I happen to find bald men attractive actually. Facial hair has never been a favorite of mine, but I have seen men that look nice with it. If there is facial hair, I would like it well groomed.

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

Jeans and a button long sleeve shirt [t-shirt underneath of course]. Some guys look good in sweaters. [my best guess is, nice shoulders+sweaters=nice]

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

x never wore any, xbf did. I prefer it! As far as a brand?
I don't have suggestions.

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

Ahhh, you asked! Something that would make my world spin would be really enjoying the date/guy, hoping he felt the same, and at some point during the date, for him to gently hold me and kiss my forehead. That would be the sealer for me! There's something so innocent and sincere about this gesture that makes my stomach flip!

So, I'm starting to think your doing pretty well these days BH?? If that's true, I'm happy for you! The process of D is a struggle and it's good to see you lighter!

Karona

If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off? (I am not Arnold, just much bigger than I used to be.)

I think men who are in good shape are attractive, but if he looks like he works out daily and very toned and buffed, then that would be a red flag for me. I would think he was in MLC and stay clear from him.

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

Goatees are fine, mustaches are not and beards....depends. BF have some hair loss and a goatee....I'm very attracted to him!

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

I like men in jeans or khaki, nice shirt or sweater, and shoes. Save the sneakers for a day at the park or when you are involved with any physical activities.

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

I use to buy Drakar for EX, but when he was having A, he would throw tons on and if became a turn off for me. I don't know what BF wears but he smells good! I remember 2 days ago when I was shopping at Target and a man walked by....mmmmm....it was nice...a man smelling good is a plus.

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

When first dating, it would be simple gestures like holding door open, pulling chair out for me, holding my coat for me ....you get the idea.

These questions aren't shallow at all!

OK, my answers:

I am 44 years old (not a spring chicken). I have always been very physically fit and have exercised all my life. When my X started "doing her thing", I really started exercising - especially in the weight room (big stress reliever!!!). Over the last 18 months I have gotten much bigger and people notice it all the time. My question for the ladies is... If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off? (I am not Arnold, just much bigger than I used to be.)

I personally like a physically fit man....not a muscle head, but someone who takes care of himself is a definite plus.

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

I personally LOVE nice, trim goatee's. Definite turn on for me. Missing hair is no biggee whatsoever unless it's been converted into a comb-over <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

Nice jeans, long sleeved shirt or sweater (but careful on the sweaters, some can look cheesy), nice coat (leather, suede etc)

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

Love good smelling men....so Aqua di Gio, Polo Sport, Hugo, D&G...anything clean and fresh smelling

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

My ex-BF would always open doors for me, any door, all the time. Even 10 mo's into our relationship, he still opened my car door for me

1. Fit is good, but excessive workouts = vanity. It makes me wonder what else he has going in his life if he has that much time to spend in the gym. But I haven't had time to work out myself - so there's a flip side.
2. I hate facial hair, but am attracted to bald or receding hairlines, no grey for me.
3. Jeans, or khakis, oxford type shirt. Sweaters can be questionable. Nice shoes.
4. I'm not a scent person, but know it can smell nice on some. I think it's a very personal attraction issue.
5. Common courtesy: holding a door, a chair, a slight touch on the back. Respectful behavior. Think of how you would want someone to treat your mother, and treat your date that way.
Good luck.

These are all excellent answers and thank you so much.

As far as the working out, I can see why it may be a red flag if someone is a muscle head. I tend to dress in loose clothing, no tight shirts. Also, I can see the point that if someone is buff, they could be percieved as arrogant. I am bigger because it releived so much stress from the divorce. I really thought that everyone would come back and say a 44 year old man should not be lifting weights! (so much for what I know)

I was suprised on the hair. Guys (including me) can be very self conscious about it and perhaps it isn't as big of issue as I thought? No comb overs though!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My goutee is coming in but it itchess!!!! I will give it some more time.

I will look into some of the colognes. I hate the cheap Brute and Irish Spring smells!!!!

As for gestures, I hold doors for everyone (even my guy friends!). But for my date, I open the car door and close it (I don't do that for my guy friends!). It really is about little things and respect though. And I know that women love a man that listens. (Why did my X not appreciate any of this!!!!)

Karona - Yes, I have felt better over the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago that I said how depressed I was but it is part of the roller-coaster. I just need to keep getting on with my life....

Karona - Yes, I have felt better over the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago that I said how depressed I was but it is part of the roller-coaster. I just need to keep getting on with my life....


BH~~

I'm going on my 3rd yr [including sep] into this process, and I still take a ride from time to time.
I'm at a point lately where I'm tired of doing everything.
I'm ready to share some of the load. I must remind myself, patience!!!

Glad you're doing well, it's good to read!
K!

I think most women over 40 aren't bothered if a man is bald. Most men have lost or are losing hair by that age. If she holds out for a guy with a lush thick head of hair, that is like holding out for a guy who is 6 feet tall or over. They're a very small minority and holding out for them really cuts down on the men she can date.

OUCH!
I'm the one always hoping for the tall guy.
Maybe this is the reason I'm not dating??
But I repeat, I don't have a problem with baldness.
Comb over is a no go though!

K!

LOL I guess I got lucky, I got a tall one!

My BF is 6'3"- guess I lucked out too-hair also.

Answering questions:
Facial hair, fine, balding head, fine. I actually find salt and pepper hair VERY attractive.

Scents- I enjoy them but don't know any.

Romantic gestures: The one I'd forogtten about was when walking on a sidewalk, the man always taking the side closest to the cars, and especially when he tries to be casual about it and not let me know he's doing it. BF does that I love it. He also opens my car door, even if I"m the one driving!

cm

Just fyi if it matters, I'm 36. Answers to these q's may vary depending upon the woman's age...

do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off?

Interesting question. Toned is good, but not overly muscular. It's odd to me when a guy has an older face but a really muscular body - not appealing to me. Getting in shape through jogging or other sports also makes for a nice body <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

The hair on top issue is not a big deal, and even if it were, a goatee would not compensate. I don't find goatees appealing anyways, but the older the guy, the less so. THAT to me, more than the working out, would make me think he wants to be younger than he is.

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

You're 44, IMO it would be impressive to dress up a bit - for an evening date, nice dress pants/khakis. Sweaters are fine, but no untucked button-down shirts. No jeans, sneakers or shorts, unless the date requires it, eg, for outdoor activities.

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

I bought my last bf Polo by RL. Whatever cologne you use, use in moderation!

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

The typical date stuff - you call, set up a time, do a bit of research as to restaurants, pick me up, hold doors, blah blah blah...you know the drill <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> That said, my last bf was great at doing all that, it was his character issues that drove us apart!!

My question for the ladies is... If you see a 44 year old man that is muscular from lifting weights, do you find it attractive or do you think "mid life crisis" and get turned off? (I am not Arnold, just much bigger than I used to be.)

**If he were "very" fit I would wonder if he would always be looking at my body under the microscope should things progress that far. Taking care of one's self is fine but I don't want a man who takes more care with his appearance than I do**

- I am missing some hair (shucks). Someone suggested I grow a goutee to compensate for it which I am doing. Do women like facial hair???

**Lack of hair on the top of the head is not a big deal- don't try to compromise. I don't care for goatees or facial hair at all so that pretty much leaves me out of the rest of the question**

- On a casual date, what type of clothes do you like to see a man wearing? It is cold here in WI so keep that in mind.

**Jeans and a button down- crisp and starched always makes my heart thud. Nice shoes though, no tennis shoes**

- Any favorite cologne that you find appealing?

**I'm old school and I like Polo by Ralph Lauren**

- What is the single nicest thing you would like have done for you on a date?

**Nice manners- holding the door open and a must is good table manners**

It's not a turnoff for me - but, I'd worry that he's more physically fit than I am - and he might want me to start exercising..YUCK..

A goatee sounds nie - just not a full beard - especially if it's all gray..Just makes you look older..As for losing some "hair" some of us women don't even notice that..


Cords and a nice sweater or turtleneck..



Paul Sabastian or Kenneth Cole
Give me your full attention..No scanning the room..

And 44 is still Young....

I like fit men. It's good to know your man could protect you from a wild coyote if necessary.

Hair is nice, but bald is nice too. I'm personally not as fond of the naked head combined with goatee. Looks a little too biker for me. But, then again, it depends on the man.
Besides, there's a lot a girl can get used to if the gentleman's nice.

I like Flowers. Only don't bring me a huge expensive bouquet unless you're dripping green stuff. A little plant from the grocery is nice.

Oh, yes another thing. If I'm out at a really nice restaurant, I think it's great when the genlteman tells the waiter what the lady would like. But, only if the lady has already to him. Not chose for her, but tell the waiter.