Try to guesstimate how long people wat for remarrying. I will never see my ex, we have no kids and live on opposite sides of the country, We have little to no communication. I have been on my own two years. (Well I have a BF, but I mean living without him for two years) I have been with my BF over a year - but not thinking about marriage yet. I do want to have kids though - so I would like to know it is somewhere on the horizon.

My D story - loved my husband probably more than he deserved. To say he broke my heart was an understatement. He just didnt want to be married anymore, and that was that.

I am days away from the end of my only marriage of 16 years. I had to go to a state-mandated parenting course and they said that about 75% of people remarry within 2 years and the divorce rate for second marriages is greater than that of first marriages... kinda depressing statistics.

They suggested (they being the counsellors that presented the course), that one should wait at LEAST two years.

I guess it's a YMMV (your mileage may vary) thing... my H broke my heart too - and I loved him way more than he deserved. He's on the way to the airport as I type this, to pick up his online girlfriend who lives across the country...

I can tell you this, speaking for myself - IF, and that's a big IF, I were ever to marry again, the lucky gentleman will certainly have to prove himself beyond a reasonable doubt. My H is a "good guy" but with some serious character flaws... I'm going to be reluctant not to paint all men with the same brush at this point.

I suppose if there is a good relationship/marriage to be had for me someday, I'll have to take a leap of faith but at this point I feel like I'll always be looking over my shoulder for the other shoe to drop.

The only advice I have is to be brutally honest with yourself - if you're sure that this is the one, then best wishes. If there's any inkling of doubt - don't do it.

Speaking as one who has been through the wringer, perhaps my advice is a tad bit cynical... so take it for what it's worth.

I wish you happiness <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

H2U

I guess that most of these people marry on the rebound, huh?

Hugs to you, iloveme. It is very healthy and wise that you are in no rush to get married again.

Another broken heart here - I'm not yet divorced, but my WH's A has been going on for about a year now. I should be divorced sometime in the Spring, all being well.

I can't yet imagine ever trusting another person that much again. I guess I still have a lot of healing to do!

Alph.

I remarried fairly early- less than a year.

I wouldn't recommend this for everyone but so far it's worked well for me. My exhusband and I had been so disconnected from each other for so long we were more like roommates for the last three years.

I was separated for almost 2 years before I married again. My divorce became final on December 31 and I re-married July 23rd....

Trust me when I say that I thought and thought over the 'rebound' mentality. I didn't FEEL that I was rebounding, but I was still afraid that I might be making that mistake without even realizing it.

I think what made my situation different was the fact that I didn't have a messy divorce and I was still friends with my ex-H. I also knew for a long time that my marriage was over so I began preparing myself very early on (psychotherapy).

I wasn't the same as many of the divorced women I knew--I didn't talk badly about my ex and I certainly didn't feel bitter toward him or men in general. Having no children also made a huge difference, as far as I'm concerned.

I don't think there's a rule that applies to everyone. Anyone who listens to Dr. Joy Browne on the radio will know what I'm talking about. She has a hissy fit if she finds out you're DATING before you've been divorced a year.

Maybe that works for MOST people or people who have been seriously screwed over, but for me it wasn't an option. I knew I was ready and I think my excellent marriage attests to that.