Hers the link to my short version of my story for those who need a recap http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=1#2862187

she has gotten through the worst of the withdrawal but has still refused to go to a MC, she states they only get you to talk & we are doing that so why go, but we arnt talking about anything that will fix what went wrong. I have been trying to meet her EN as much as I can or as much as she will let me. She is not even to attempting to meet any of mine. In a roud about way we started to talk a little today, I could be off on the details a little because I was shocked that the subject came up. Here are some of the main points that came up.

1. She thought I didnt want to try to repair the relationship anymore, when asked what made her think this she did not answer.

2. I brought up the EN questionnair & she was open to looking at it (she thought it sounded funny, but if she follows through & fills it out & tries who cares)

3. In her opinion Im the one who has to do much of the changing, she only has to change how she reacts to me?

I should have pushed the counselor issue a little more for the reason why she doesent want to go but I figured why push My luck for now. What are your thoughts, opinions
or advice as to what came up in descussion?


Cliff

Bumping this up for the later group

When they are in withdrawal, it is hard to know what they want.

But she has told you a very important point - that YOU need to change.

Any ideas what she is talking about?

Sorry I didnt make it more clear WS is past the withdrawal but is still in a little bit of fog, yes there are things I need to change & I have been working on them. She also has some changing to do & until she can admit that we wont go
anywhere, she has acknowleged that I have been trying but does not believe it will be a permanent change, only time will convice her of that & Im ok with that.

Okay. Don't expect her to do any changing right now, or have any regrets. That is just the way it is. Doesn't seem fair. So don't get your hopes up too soon.