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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 131
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Serene Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 131
I am struggling with whether I have done a good enough Plan A and when I should Plan B. WH and I are relating fairly well right now and I feel him trying to do more nice things and persuing me more than he was before, but I also worry about them having more and more time together. I choose to see his efforts as positive and that maybe he is missing me somewhat. But, then I get scared and think he is only doing these nice things because of guilt and that I should not read anything into it. But, then again, a lot of WS on this board are so into the OP that they do not care if the S is hurting. They just use things to justify the A. In my opinion, he is not entirely certain of this decision to be with OW. It's a hunch, but I think a good one. I am just scared to test things, I guess. I think everyone is scared to go to Plan B.

So, I am agonizing about when to Plan B as we are finally starting to connect again. How long were you in Plan A before your H left? How soon after he left did you go to Plan B? Do you remember what made you decide to do it then? Do you have the link to your Plan B thread?

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
I think it's important to make sure to address your WH's PRIMARY EMOTIONAL NEEDS prior to going into PLAN B...

What I mean by this is to GIVE HIM THE CLEAR MESSAGE THAT YOU HAVE THE CAPACITY to meet these particular needs and that you UNDERSTAND AND ARE SENSITIVE to what contributed to the vulnerability for him to have the A...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.

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