I read on one of Mimi's posts about you helping her so much. I have printed out many of your remarks on other threads. I would love to get your take on my situation. I am trying to decide when to go to Plan B and would like some "expert" advice. Also, I thought I saw something you posted saying that it really does not matter what Plan you are in, it is when your S feels you are moving on that he/she finally comes around. I already worry that too much time has passed, but my gut tells me that my H will come home. Each time he felt me slipping away, he has wanted to stay.

I just was too willing to put up with his scraps and any sign we were getting closer, and now that I know OW is back in the picture (and probably has been for some time), it all makes sense now. I kept thinking it would take time for us to reconnect. And, in some ways, we actually were reconnecting (had some really wonderful times in the last few months before he left), yet he still left. I feel like my Plan A was fairly solid (no one's perfect and I am my own worst critic), but I feel pretty good about it. I just do not want to wait too long and allow them to get any closer than they already are. He has not been gone that long and he seemed to be conflicted about the decision. I have been somewhat stand-offish and aloof (not intentional, just was tired of him not trying) and he has treated me better than he has in months.

Any thoughts on when puling away/Plan B is most advisable?