Last Thurs we had a counseling session with our Pastor which I believe was very enlightening.. It's not everyday that someone who has an addiction readily admits "Hey I'm addicted".. so FWS says.. "it's not a problem" .. but I can cope with the multiple affairs better if I knew it was some sort of addiction. Pastor helped him see that there are definate outside influences that PULL at his heart. During this conversation FWS also told me how he met the girl I just recently found out he was emailing 3 weeks ago. It turns out they both met at a swingers club.. He actually had sex with her inside that club.

Call me naive or whatever but I didn't even think that sort of stuff was legal. Anyway.. I had a feel of disgust wash over me at that moment.. That was the first he confessed to something like that and I'm afraid to ask how many more times this has happened.. but I eventually did and he said he had frequented the club on more than one occassion but that was the first time he ever did "THAT" ..

Husband also said there were many times he wanted to come to me and tell me how he really feels when it comes to sex but he's afraid i'll be hurt by it.. I'm not by any means a prude so i asked him.. to please just come and talk to me.. whatever it may be.. if he has some of the moments where he feels like he's going to call someone from his past.. or email someone.. just talk to me.. will I like it that he is feeling that way? probably not but all I want is radical honesty! I can deal with this whole mess alot better..

We have a professional marriage counseling session tomorrow. but I would like my husband to also do some IC. as well as myself.. Since Thursday we have talked and been more honest and open with one another. and I'm so grateful for that. Alot is painful to hear.. for example, My husband also admitted to me that he wanted to smoke some marijuana but didn't b/c of me.. What is this all about?? How many other things has he suppressed b/c of fear? and how am i supposed to take each new schocking revelation? I want him to be honest but I also want to still respect him and I'm finding it harder to do so

Oh boy. sounds like he really needs help. Hom much of tis can you endure? Have you been ck'd for std's? He defintely needs to get ck'd. Isn't he evena fraid of what he could catch? I would want out with someone like this. I am so sorry you are going throu this. I hope someone else with this problem comes and give advise I know there are others with the same thing. Sexual addiction is a hard thing.

Thanks for responding Realtor-
I did have my annual well woman exam the beginning of Nov and that was normal but I don't believe they test for STD's so I made another appt with my ob/gyn and that is scheduled for Dec 15th.

I seriously doubt he's been checked.. speaking of std's. He has been honest about lots of things this past weekend. of of which included an incident where he had contracted chlamydia from a girl and in the same week contracted crab lice from another girl.. of course this was back when he was a teenager but nonetheless. i'm appalled!! I mean when does "taking care of yourself" and wearing a condom come into play?? He has also admitted that he has had sex with over 100 women!!!!!! the guy is not even 30!!!

i dont know what to think anymore.. he is my husband so i have chosen to stay and try and make this work. He is going thru ounseling both IC and marital.. He has made great strides to working this out with me.. and I know he wants this marraige to work.. I just think he is battling with a greater evil.. that which is inside him.

MoBo4:

You should align yourself with all of the knowledge that you can about sexual addiction and recovery. Your issues are far more greater than saying "he is my husband, so I have chosen to stay and try"...that sounds all sincere and will be encouraged here...but nevertheless...as the resident "realist" here I would ask you to look at this practically. You should understand what this revelation about your husabnd (and probably more coming) means for the rest of your life. This is a much greater dragon to saly than a man who has a 6 month emotional affair due to "problems" in his marriage.

I don't have much else to say. Goodluck.

Remember, knowledge is power..."emotion" could be deadly in this case.

Lem