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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 160
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Posts: 160 |
I am curious to know what others in a NC sitch w/ OC do concerning Christmas. Do you send a gift to OC?
Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts on this.
Married 10 years
Three Children: Son(8),Daughter(6),Daughter(3)
DDay - May 6, 2004
False Recovery Begins - June 1, 2004
OW Pregnancy Revealed - June 27, 2004
False Recovery #2 Begins - August 30, 2004
OC born Feb. 25, 2005
Have chosen to have C
DDay AGAIN -- June 10,2005 - Found out contact w/OW had continued from Sept-Feb
Recovery Begins (again - let's hope it is real this time) July, 2005
C w/OC on indefinite hold while M is worked on
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 98
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I think NC means NC,
If that is really what you mean.
Sending a gift would just be opening a can of worms, if you know what I mean.
If you do want contact or need a opening as far as starting C again, then sending a gift sounds like a winner.
Me: 27
H: 34
Married 5/8/99
*together exactly seven years...met on 5/8/98*
son: 8/2002
son: 3/2005
day world came crumbling: 4/23/05
8/6/05: DNA result is positive
for 8 year old boy from hubby's past that he didn't know existed....
Girl didn't discover it wasn't current BF's child until 2001...
then she had to go down the line with DNA testing and....
DING DING DING, we have a winner.
NC at present time
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
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I agree with Larabell 100%.
BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312
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Posts: 312 |
Me too, I don't think you would send a gift if you are in NC.
Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years.
Age 30
DDay March 2004
OC Born June 2004
2nd Dday Feb 2005
My daughter was born 7/22/05.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 160
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Posts: 160 |
Thanks ladies - that's exactly what I am feeling about this sitch. NC doesn't mean NC except for holidays. It sends a mixed message to send a gift.
I suggested H put money in an account for OC at Christmas and birthdays if he wants to recognize these special dates. Then when OC is older he will know that his bio father did think of him at these times without adding a confusing message to OC of Dad sends a gift on special days but doesn't acknowledge me the rest of the year.
Married 10 years
Three Children: Son(8),Daughter(6),Daughter(3)
DDay - May 6, 2004
False Recovery Begins - June 1, 2004
OW Pregnancy Revealed - June 27, 2004
False Recovery #2 Begins - August 30, 2004
OC born Feb. 25, 2005
Have chosen to have C
DDay AGAIN -- June 10,2005 - Found out contact w/OW had continued from Sept-Feb
Recovery Begins (again - let's hope it is real this time) July, 2005
C w/OC on indefinite hold while M is worked on
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 312
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That's a good idea, but does that mean that you would like to have contact some day?
Married 5 years. Together almost 14 years.
Age 30
DDay March 2004
OC Born June 2004
2nd Dday Feb 2005
My daughter was born 7/22/05.
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430
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Wife30, I'm not speaking for Trying, but it's not unusual for an OC to show up in their teens or 20s, just as some adoptees do. That possibility certainly ran through my mind.
My uncle had 2 OC by different women in the next town, and no contact. One of those OC approached my cousins at high school and told them she was their sister! (They had not known!) However, the other OC never contacted the family in any way.
I'm guessing the chances of being contacted by OC eventually are about 50-50, maybe more. Some people have a strong desire for information.
A prayer for all marriages' recovery,
J
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person. -Mother Teresa
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