i found out about my husband's infidelity a few years ago. we thought we've gotten over the rough patch. he fathered a child w/ this other woman but never had contact w/ her again. last year, we got an official document from her laywer asking him to acknowledge paternity, give up his parental rights officially and in turn, she will not ask for child support. they both signed the document and notarized it. my husband sent his copy back to her lawyer and we kept a copy for our records. I realized today that we never got a copy of the filed document w/ an official case number. she is making indirect claims now thru online blogging that she is contemplating asking for child support.

My question is, the signed and notarized document, can that be binding? or would it not be binding w/o it being officially filed in court? i am stressed about this. i thought this was over but she seemed to have a way of just popping in and out w/ these stressful issues around christmas time as sort of a 'let me ruin ur christmas every year" thing.

thanks for your help. i lurk around here a lot but never really posted until now.

I am not sure about all states but my BIL did this years ago and when the mother of the child went on welfare the county came after him for CS. He ended up owing thousands due to the child being about 13 by then. He thought what he did was legal but I don't think you can legally give up parental rights and CS without the child being adopted by another man.

First things first. Is there DNA proving that your WH is the father, and is a Birth Certificate signed to this effect?

I think you and your husband should see a lawyer immediately.

This OW cannot just give up her child's RIGHT to child support FROM YOUR HUSBAND.

Your Wayward Husband giving up his parental rights to the child does NOT mean giving up his FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS to the child....if only it were that easy....lol, you'd see a whole he** of alot of men and women asking "where do I sign"? Your "notarized agreement" with the OW is worth about as much as you paid for the paper it is on.....probably absolutely nothing.

I'd say you and your WH were "duped" and you should talk to a lawyer and begin to make arrangements (even if in your head) about paying for HIS CHILD and HIS OBLIGATIONS. I don't see this as a OW making your X-mas a living he*%, but rather you and your WH continued denial and procrastination with doing things right in the 1st place. I'd have been on the phone 10 minutes ago if I was your WH, arranging for legal counsel. If your OW recieved state aid, you can be certain that your WH's check, etc will be garnished for what he owes the taxpayers of the state.

I don't want to seem harsh, but I will never understand how people (and I am talking about your WH here) can be so naive to think that a "lifetime" of obligation and responsibility can be "signed" away with a pen stroke. It is never that easy.

Please,, do the right thing for yourself and for your family and sanity and get legal counsel to handle this issue "above board" and lawfully.

***sigh*****

Lem